{the holidays} Revolutionary Gift Guide for 2017 Because Fuuuuuuuu*k

You know what sucks? 2017. JESUS, this has been one helluva year, from the renewed rise of open Nazi marches (like REALLY? WE JUST HAVE NAZIS AGAIN? AND THAT’S, LIKE, FINE? OK THEN) – to Trump and his trash, trash, non-recyclable, non-compostable, utter TRASH family – to our newfound knowledge that basically every cis man we have ever heard of is a molester or possibly a rapist, I mean at the very least, grody to the max – to Betsy FREAKING DeVos and her stupid glasses and all of the rest of the swamp creatures who now govern us and OHMYGOD PASS THE WINE.

The thing is, I LOVE the holiday season and I refuse to let this stuff cramp my Christmas style! But I do believe that some changes are definitely in order. This year we need to let our gift-giving support our activism, we need to spend our holiday dollars to reaffirm our commitment to peace and justice, and we need to actively and openly throw our money and love to support and promote all of the righteous shit we are fighting for. We need a holiday gift guide FOR THE RESISTANCE. Because FUUUUUUUU*K. 

White people, I am ESPECIALLY TALKING TO YOU. We need to do better than the usual crap from Target. Just do it.

Hence, I present to you:

Revolutionary Gift Guide for 2017 Because Fuuuuuuuu*k

Covfefe coloring book

Coloring books for adults are kind of an “in” thing now. But mandalas and flowers are soooo 2015. Do you remember the salad days of “covfefe?” Well somebody does, and they made a coloring book about it. This is actually kind of amazing. It’s based on a Watergate coloring book, for Pete’s sake! Which is cool cuz now we know someone back then also had a sense of humor about their corrupt government.

The Covfefe Coloring Book, $12.95. Buy direct from colorcovfefe.com.

Dystopian nightmare napkins

This is kind of a go-to host/hostess/hostex gift for me these days. And I use them at all of the political fundraisers I have at my house! Always a hit. I mean I couldn’t find any napkins that say “What Camelbak holds up best when escaping an oppressive dictatorship in the middle of the night” but let’s be realistic, we might need those pretty soon, too.

Napkins, $6. Buy from Emily McDowell.  (There is so much great stuff from artist Emily McDowell – you’re sure to find something you love on her site!) 

Maxine Waters-themed tees 

These tees from Brave New World Designs are everything. So good! And you can get them with shiny gold ink! I wear mine to protests and marches so I can throw DOUBLE SHADE with my my own face and Auntie Maxine’s face working together in a concerted, well-coordinated shade-throwing effort.

Tees, $21.95. Buy from Etsy.

Hella good books written by POC  

A book is a solid gift to give, especially if you buy it from your local independent bookstore. (See what I did there?!) Giving books written by POC is a double whammy because you’re supporting the POC authors with your book dollars AND you’re giving the recipient an opportunity to learn more about the author’s perspective.

There are tons of lists to give you ideas for great books – like this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, and this one. There are waaaay too many to name here, but some of my top all-time favorites are I’m Judging You by Luvvie Ajayi (funny! and topical,) Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (not funny but excellent,) Rain of Gold by Victor Villaseñor (ibid,) Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi (not even a little bit funny but WOW,) The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl by Issa Rae (totes back to funny! Yay!) In the Time of the Butterflies by Julia Alvarez (dictatorship = not hilarious, still a great read!) We Are Never Meeting in Real Life by Samantha Irby (yaaaassss hilarious!) and anything by Jhumpa Lahiri (mixed funny/serious.)

IMAG hat 

While I don’t expect IMAG to catch on the way MAGA has, this hat will freak out Trump supporters as they draw close to you, thinking you’re one of them… and then maybe even after that; can those people even read??!?!

Not only do you get to protect your face in style and badassery, this hat comes from Define American – a pro-immigrant org founded by “out and proud” undocumented American & Pulitzer Prize winner Jose Antonio Vargas. 

IMAG hat, $29.95. Buy at Define American.

Queer coloring books and paper dolls

If the covfefe coloring book doesn’t tickle your fancy, do not worry, for I am also recommending coloring books that feature queer heroes and historical lesbians. For good measure, I have thrown in a RuPaul drag paper doll book. Rad, right? SO GOOD! I love these.

I like this gift especially for a newly out or exploring young person, but really, this is a cool and unexpected present for anyone who enjoys coloring or crafting.

Queer coloring books, $15. Buy directly from Stacked Deck Press.  

RuPaul’s Drag Race Paper Dolls, $18.95. Buy from Simon & Schuster.

T-shirts that give a chunk of your change to support the resistance 

There are lots of cool and funny resistance tees out there, but these are both simple and to the point, AND the proceeds go to a good cause. 100% of profits from this (unofficial) BLM tee go to a smattering of orgs supporting racial justice. Also on offer is a simple “She Persisted” tee that gives 50% of proceeds to Planned Parenthood.

BLM tees and hoodies, $19.99 – $39.99. Buy at Merch for the Movement.

She Persisted tees and hoodies, $21 – $35. Buy at teespring.

Reusable bags that smash the patriarchy 

OK, so these bags don’t actually smash the patriarchy, but they are a small start. I love these bags because by purchasing one, you’re directly supporting Jenny Sargent, an independent artist, and you’re also S’ing that P every time you grocery shop. You can get tees and pins as well.

$10 for pins, $25 for bags, $30 for tees. Buy at Boro Boro Shop (directly from the artist.) 

Cards Against Humanity Surprise Box – SOLD OUT!

This is both incredibly rad and really hard to explain so here is a FAQ.

Chingona Postcard Set

Niagara Falls can’t hold a candle to these amazing postcards! This artist-driven site has super cool, affordable posters and stickers that you’re definitely gonna want too.

Chingona postcards, $15.00. Buy from Dignidad Rebelde.

A donation to a progressive candidate of color

Are you ready to be governed by people who are, as a whole, much less white?? OMG ME TOO. SAMESIES. Instead of adding to the landfill with physical goods, you can give a donation in someone’s name to one of these badass progressives who will represent us well. By that I mean the kind of people that we won’t have to call and BEG them not to pass dumb laws or take away our healthcare every damn day.

Here are some of my personal favorites (and what they’re running for:

Abdul El-Sayed (MI governor)

Stacey Abrams (GA governor)

Ben Jealous (MD governor)

Neill Mohammad (US Congress from IL)

Kia Hamadanchy (US Congress from CA)

Michael Hepburn (US Congress from FL)

So after reading this, what are you giving this year? The usual crap from Target?

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Figures.

Happy shopping all! Long live the resistance.

P.S. *spoiler alert* If 2018 is on par with 2017, my gift guide will just say to give grain alcohol and hard drugs.