{hacks} 13 Amazing Food and Life Hacks You Need to Know Right Now
I know what you’re thinking- how could there possibly be any food hacks that I do not yet know? But read on and I think you will find that these are some you have never seen before. You will be amazed at how these simple food hacks can make your life easier and better!
1. Keep cake moist by just eating the entire thing in one sitting.
2. How to determine if an egg is fresh: do you remember buying the eggs? If you don’t, they probably aren’t fresh.
3. For perfectly cooked burgers every time, go to a restaurant.
4. Can’t fold a fitted sheet? Don’t worry, nobody can. Unless you are a wizard or something.
5. To store asparagus for up to 2 weeks, first I would suggest you consider how much you actually like asparagus and why you bought so much asparagus 2 weeks before you planned on eating it.
6. An excellent snack dispenser is the bag the snack came in. No need to put it in a different container, and certainly not an old creamer bottle. What are you, crazy?
7. How to tell if your avocado is ripe: squeeze it, then cut it open and see if it is ripe.
8. If you’re at a bar and need to leave your seat for a moment, always put a coaster over your drink. Having to lift up a coaster will definitely, without a doubt deter anyone who was planning to slip a roofie in your drink.
9. To avoid messy hands while eating a popsicle, use a napkin.
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10. No time to boil water? You must be incredibly busy if you don’t have time for that. I think you might be overextending yourself. Take a look at your schedule and see if there are some things you could re-prioritize. You may be headed for a burn-out.
Boiling Water on Gas
11. To make perfect potato wedges, use a knife to cut a potato into perfect wedges.
12. Trouble using chopsticks? Try a fork.
13. If you were thinking of turning an old plastic pants hanger into a chip clip or cookbook holder, you might be a hillbilly.
Want more useless life hacks? Here are 10 more. Other ideas to check out that you might like:
- Five Nihilist Pinterest Projects You Can Start Right Now
- I Tried a Bunch of Those Viral Life Hacks So You Don’t Have To
- 10 of the Absolute Worst Ideas on Pinterest
Photo credits from flickr’s creative commons: Son of Groucho, woodleywonderworks, mosespreciado, Jinx McCombs, liz west, threelayercake, wader, Ken, Alpha, and Lohb.
This made me laugh really hard. Thanks!
The reason you can’t remember buying those eggs is because you didn’t get them at the store.
Awesome list. 13 was great.
I feel nothing but pity for anyone who is even remotely amused by this.
Another actual answer to 13… Still Hillbilly, but you can get a pack of 100 bag clips for about $1! They’re called clothes pins.
The reason you put a coaster over your drink is to let the bartender know you’re still drinking it
@fresh pants that is one reason, but it’s also meant to deter people from “messing with it” – as someone who has been roofied I can tell you, it doesn’t work for that 😉
Bahahaha! I LOVE THIS.
@David Mahler – These are hilarious!!! Why so grim?
OMG. thank u so much. i never knew how 2 make perfect potato wedges befoere. mine were always not perfect. but now they’re perfect. <333
@Lorna <3
Or you could try Not Leaving your Drink Unattended at the Bar Or Anywhere Else. All the kids are doing it.
re: #8…. what if you like the buzz you get off roofies (Rohypnol)? Or you’d rather not remember sleeping with your boss?
@Karen
Fresh pants is right. Putting a coaster over your drink is custom for saying “hey someone is still drinking here” to both the bartender and anyone who wants your bar stool. It has nothing to do with roofies.
Funny article, but it took 10 tries to get this link to come up and my friends couldn’t get here at all. 🙁
Epic 503’s (service unavailable) errors. Might want to check with your provider
Thanks, usually no one reads this blog so this is an anomaly 🙂
Love these. Even as a 62-year-old widow, I have never been mistaken for Martha Stewart!
Okay, I loved these. If you are parent (or don’t want to be one!) and you want to check out a VERY similar set of hacks, check these out:
http://twofunmoms.com/2014/06/juli-jacs-parenting-hacks/
Such a great spoof on what the internet has become (thanks LifeHacker!). Hilarious. Well done.
@ryan Thank you! I really appreciate it.
I need more lists like this everyday to counteract all of the Pinterest obsessed mommy bloggers that conspire to find a harder and totally absurd way to do everything.
Who on earth has to leave a half-finished drink at the bar? Throw that sucker back and then go to the bathroom. Sheesh.
Great post, thanks for the laugh
Kill two birds with one stone – after keeping your cake fresh by eating it all, protect your drink by using it to wash it down. At that point you can probably make sure no one takes your seat at the bar by vomiting all over it.
@Lion excellent idea!
Best signal a bartender has of knowing someone is still there is leaning your stool into the bar if it has a back. If you cant do this, you should be licking doorknobs and not drinking.
Funny, but #4 has nothing to do with food, not sure how the snuck in there
@Chris it’s called “Food and Life Hacks” so I categorize it as “life”
@Karen You are a live saver! I know have all the knowledge I need to get through the rest of my laugh!
HAHAHA!! Thank you so much for the laugh!! X
@Helen THANK YOU! Super appreciate it!
the coaster over the drink is actually not, in any way, meant to deter people from roofie-ing you, unless you think it serves that purpose. it’s sole purpose is to let the bartender, or a potential patron who might take your seat, that someone is still there. what you’re saying is like saying that rolling your car windows up halfway is an attempt at deterring someone from robbing your car.
Karen, you’re pretty funny ; ) David Mahler, not even your mom cares what you think. Awww snap! To the crackle n pop.
brilliant
Funny but that’s not the reasoning for number 8. That’s to tell the bartender you’re not done with the drink.
Truly funny!
Some of you people just don’t get sarcasm, huh?
@Jae 🙂 🙂 🙂
I did love number 13 but that has sharp edges. I use wooden clip clothes pins as they’re much easier. In fact I use them for a lot of things not just chip clips. They hold the checks with the deposit slips on the way to the bank. I keep a couple in my suitcase to clip the curtains closed in the hotel, and also if the hotel doesn’t have clip hangers in the closet. Just a little bit of my old lady wisdom. They were all so funny. Oh I forgot I also know how to fold the contour sheets so they lay on the shelf evenly.
PS Thanks for a wonderful laugh.
Funny. Except #8 is actually to let the bartender or server you’re not done with your drink.
I feel nothing but pity for anyone who believes in “life/food hacks” and doesn’t realise that they’re either common sense. or using something for the purpose it was designed for.
These are fantastic
I’ve never wanted to be a wizard before. Pointy hats & abracadabra hold no appeal for me. But the ability to fold fitted sheets is what I’ve always dreamed about.
@Yan Oh, me too, me too.
I’m going to side with David Mahler on this one….boring
This is light hearted funniness. Why wouldn’t you find this ‘amusing’.. unless your some sort of podantic twat.. and yeah your podantic if your double checking I’m spelling ‘podantic’ right..DAVID MAHLER
Vincent Wheatley, I don’t have to single check, never mind double check, how to spell pedantic.
But I did find the list funny.
open contour sheet and one by one insert each corner into the next. I usually put the two corners from one end into each other, then the other two into each other and then make it one.
Put your hand into the contour fold and insert it into the inside (wrons side of sheet), kthen do the other end. Then, put the four together. You will then lay it sort of flat and have a slight “hospital corner” on one side with it folded over. At that point you fold it like a normal sheet. In each instance, the Lay it over and smooth it out. Practice a few times and then the directions will make more sense.
That was directions for folding contour sheets. I forgot to put that at the to of the instructions. Good Luck.
@vinventwheatley – you spells “you’re” incorrectly…twice. “‘Amusing'” doesn’t need apostrophes around it.
You spelled pedantic wrong, three times; I didn’t need to double check, I caught it the first time through.
Isn’t that ironic, I mis-spelled “spelled” as “spells”. I blame it on the fact I’m using a phone to post this.
On topic, the blog was mildly amusing.
Nothing like a good Life Hack post to bring out the best in people. Cheers, Karen!
You know what, I feel pity for people like David Mahler, and other negative nay-sayers, who don’t allow themselves to be amused by this list. If you can’t afford a little chuckle at something meant to be light and fun I think it speaks more to you than to the people who find it amusing. To the people who find it amusing, myself included, good on us for allowing ourselves to smile and/or laugh, in a world of people that constantly try to tell us what is and what isn’t appropriate to laugh at.
@dgrouix
Nothing I like more than a sarcastically funny list. Beats out a regularly funny list any day.
Thanks for the laughs. Totally enjoyed reading this.
@marguerite thanks! And by the way I love the name Marguerite, it was my grandmother’s name and I’m totally saving it for a future daughter 🙂
I think these are hilarious. Am I mistaken though? I’ve worked in a number of restaurants and always thought a coaster over your drinking glass signaled the bartender that you were done drinking??? That’s what our patrons do at the place I work at now when they are done. I do love the egg post because I have eggs in my fridge right now that I’m not even sure I bought, lol!
#7 is in case the bartender thinks the costumer left. If you put the coaster on the glass, he won’t touch your glass, knowing you didnt leave. Otherwise, they take your glass.
lol!!!!! hilarious article!! But I must damn you for making me realize I am a hillbilly because I do #13. Best hacks EVER!
I thought it was funny! #5 was funny!
I feel pity for David Mahler because he has lost his sense of humor or never had one in the first place.
WOW. I didn’t know ANY of these! This is going to take my cooking to a whole new level.
what does folding sheets have to do with food?
@Cat the article is called “food and life hacks” so that counts as a life hack
I pity someone whose life is so empty that he has nothing better to do than post what Mr Mahler did.
I can fold fitted sheets.
folding fitted sheet is a life skill. Many people haven’t figured out how to do it. I was giving an instruction to a lady that asked for them.
… off the subject just a hair…but what is the deal with eating with a silver spoon….medicinal value….SC early 1800-1900….. the well-to-do used silver spoons and avoided otherwise illness-producing pathogens..only the spoon cuz salad had not been “invented” yet…no salad forks….I had never heard of this but reputable sources validate this ….
I thought these were all very funny!
That is, until I read the comments, where several nice people were kind enough to take time out of their busy day and tell me that in fact, these are boring and stupid especially the one with the beer coaster. Thank you nice internet people!
@Jeff yes, thanks! I definitely didn’t realize how wrong I was until I read all of the helpful comments. 😉
That awkward moment you find an old picture of yourself ramming cake in your face on one of these things…
@Stephen OMG. Is that really you? Amazing!
It is indeed. Lol sorted my hair out now tho. I can confirm the cake was good so overall worth it
You had me laughing right up until that last one. “Hillbilly” is one of the last few ethnic/regional slurs that seems to be acceptable today. As a highly educated “Hill-William” I am offended that rural Appalachian folk are now one of the few groups it is OK to ridicule and mock.
@jonathan I literally can’t tell if you’re joking but if you’re not I am terribly sorry for offending you.
there is a woman who has posted a video on line showing how to fold a fitted sheet. she starts out saying “One of the worst problems you’ll ever face is folding a fitted sheet.” Ha ha, don’t we wish, but she is perfectly serious.
@Esther OMG I have totally seen that video and had the exact same thought!! Great minds!!!
#3 – I’ve been to plenty of restaurants (and no I don’t mean McDonalds) who have over cooked or under cooked my burger. Not everyone who cooks for a living knows what they are doing behind the line. If you want a burger cooked to your perfection, cook it at home. Then you can burn it or leave it mooing, just the way you like it. Cooking a burger really isn’t that hard people.
This article is certainly funny, but it was not fact-checked. It’s sad to see what the Internet has done to journalism. Fact-checking is essential in journalism. As a reminder: In order to fact-check, you need to check that you are reporting facts, then you need to check that you have checked them. You clearly did not do your diligence on the fact of folding fitted sheets (check), and on the fact that people actually do use coasters in bars for non-verbal communication with bar tenders (check).
@Frankie I am lol at your comment because in no way, shape, or form am I a journalist! I am a random person who wrote a silly article. Please for the sake of journalists everywhere, do not judge them based on me.
Hilarious! Though, I have to disagree with number 3 – most restaurants, in this area at least, won’t let you order your burger the way YOU want, only the way that reduces their potential liability. After all, fully cooked, there’s all sorts of contamination they can get away with, with no one the wiser…
I laugh so hard reading this tips 😀 This is hilarious!
Great ideas. Thanks for sharing…
oh my god. i love you. now i have to spend all night reading your site.. but it’s ok, i have beer. tomorrow i will blame my hangover on all those poor fools with no sense of humor, or the ones who think we actually need an explanation for something funny. it’ll be a toss-up.
OK, I have a cough right now and when I tried to read this to my girlfriend, I had to take long breaks in the middle of every sentence because I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe and it hurt. Good stuff.
Kinda semi-agree about the hillbilly thing though — I tolerate absolutely any humor that’s mean to anybody even if it disgusts me personally, but it’s depressing that a particularly universally hated group of poor people are the only safe target for cruel humor any more. Except the Irish. But I mean, come on. If you’d met my dad, you’d make fun of the Irish too.
Article was a riot, but dumbass comments offering corrections n clarifications were even funnier
@UltraRunnerLK indeed… 🙂
As someone who likes Lifehacker and reads it regularly, I liked the satire. I actually did chuckle out loud. And thanks to commenter Sandy, I’ll have to try her suggestion with the folded sheets. 🙂
Fantastic, Karen. I posted this to FB and 131 other people found it so funny that they actually shared it. This article is a winner! Keep ’em coming!
Awesome stuff. Keep posting.
WTF? Somewhere in your pea sized brain you thought using “hillbilly” was funny. No, it is not.
@Jeanette did not mean to offend. Will file your comment away for the future, but be forewarned, my pea-sized brain may not have space to remember. 🙂
David Mahler is probably the one dick that actually likes the actual and supposed ‘life hacks.’
Yes, redneck is much better
@jacqui I think of redneck as WORSE than hillbilly? Am I wrong? Are they both wrong? Sigh.
I am always amazed by the creativity and how quick thinking people are. Why am I not in that category, it beats me!!
Who tha fuck leaves their drink on the bar?? I just take it to the bathroom with me.
Oh my frigging GOD! Hiw many ppl have to say “the drink w a coaster on top ACTUALLY MEANS…”
We got it the sixth time.
@Kristen 🙂 🙂 🙂 Thank you!
What does a folding a fitted sheet have to do with food hacks?
@Jon look closely, it’s called Food and Life Hacks
Here are some more great tips
http://youtu.be/8iE7WnY6ACA
Bahahaha! Life changing advice! Thanks for sharing! 🙂
@Robin thanks 🙂
These are very funny. And true!
Take the sheet by top corner and put hand in said corner; put foot in corresponding bottom corner; put other foot in other corner; put last hand in last corner. There you are you’ve made a sheet monster. In the process you’ve made the sheet dirty by omitting to remove gardening boots first. Wash sheet. This buys you time before starting again. Dry sheet and while sheet is still warm start process over but this time without shoes on. Walk round house as sheet monster. Hear footsteps up path and door bell rings. Quickly stuff skinned sheet monster underneath pile of neatly folded laundry. The poke and stuff method is quickest. Answer door and forget about folding sheets til next laundry day.
@gumblefur thanks for the laugh!!
Hilarious! I can definitely handle this list! LOL~
People are trying to give you free drugs and you wanna stop them???
Is that a young Dr. Oz, keeping his cake moist?
Great article, good job.
Omg, if you’re offended by the word “hillbilly”, you’re a hillbilly 🙂
@Robin hee hee
Amazed at the comments. Not sure why I read through them all, but to analyse a super-hilairious post and feel the need to correct super-ironic hacks; I may never fully understand internet folk.
Thanks for the laugh! I’ve shared and shared.
@RoDean thanks and I am right there with ya 😉
Love this post. So funny. Just shared it on Twitter.
Ha! Thanks for the laughs!
In the area where I lived when I reached drinking age, #8 (more often with a napkin as the bars weren’t down for the coaster thing then) was a way to signal that you didn’t want another round.
Absolutely love these food and LIFE hacks!! Keep it up!
So apparently to signal to a bartender that you are not done drinking your drink and to other people looking to sit where you just were. You put a nasty coaster that has been sitting down on some nasty bar over the top of the glass. Where you will in the future be drinking from… Yes I know the meaning. Yes I know this whole thing is a joke. As a sarcastic person…. I understand sarcasm
@Marc, ohhhh good point. Gross.
enjoyed it very much
Brilliant! Touche! And my compassion for the sad trolls who not only don’t get it, but actually use their energy to rail against it. Troll apocalypse!
I clicked on this link hoping to find something useful.What a waste of time !
@kayatanim0 I am so sorry the internet has disappointed you this time around. Better luck next time
Article was a riot, but dumbass comments offering corrections n clarifications were even funnier
Funny stuff! Even funnier replies to the miserable people who look for reasons not to smile. Karen, you’re my new hero!
@cheryl Thanks so much! You made my day!
I couldn’t stop laughing . .but dumbass comments offering corrections n clarifications were even funnier
Hey ,
Amazing post!!
The post was very funny. I will surely recommend it to my friends.
I am sure they will love it.
Cheers!!
another great post!
moving help
This is a really great post. It gave me several laughs!
Thanks for this Informative and valuable article
very creative. Thanks for sharing.
Jio Reliance)
Very useful info, thanks
Very great, it’s useful information, thank you very much.
Amazing post.Thanks for sharing among us.
WOW… thank u so much. i never knew how 2 make perfect potato wedges befoere. mine were always not perfect. but now they’re perfect. 🙂
Article was a riot, but dumbass comments offering corrections n clarifications were even funnier
I know what you’re thinking- how could there possibly be any food hacks that I do not yet know?
Hilarious! Though, I have to disagree with number 3 – most restaurants, in this area at least, won’t let you order your burger the way YOU want, only the way that reduces their potential liability.
Very great, it’s useful information, thank you very much thank all
Amazing post.Thanks for sharing among us.good