My friend Eliza gave me these awesome little containers. They are about an inch and a half high and super frickin’ adorable.

Their sole purpose is to allow you to bring a little bit of soy sauce with you wherever you go, just in case. They come with a little tiny eye-dropper so you can fill them up with soy sauce. So far they have never leaked and they always make me smile when I pull them out at lunchtime! Something about those vacant, beady eyes and perky ears- they are really endearing little pals to have around.

Eliza got these for a couple bucks at one of my very favorite stores in the world, Daiso Japan. Daiso is kind of like a super cool Japanese Dollar Store, except most things cost two dollars instead of one. Daiso has a crazy cross-section of stuff, from garden supplies to kids’ toys to dishes to cards (many in hilarious Engrish) to fake flowers to, er, individual soy sauce holders. With ten bucks in hand, you can have a GREAT time in there.

There are 3 stores in the Seattle area and 6 in the Bay Area- here’s a list of all U.S. locations.

I came across these pictures I took in Japan that I had been meaning to post. It makes perfect sense that the nation that created the juggernaut that is the Hello Kitty diaspora would have so-cute-it’s-sick signage, even on the serious subway. Don’t they know about terr’ism?

The pictures are not all totally related beyond being roughly subway-related, so I will attempt to weave a compelling narrative around them so that they make sense as a grouping.

So many things in Japan are adorable when they needn’t/shouldn’t be. For example, on the subway, this chubby little bear, and the raccoon mommy and baby tell give you some safety advisories. I think these are a lot more fun than a regular boring old sign. And those raccoons are so cute I want to pet them even though if they were real they would probably eat garbage and have rabies. But they’re SO CUTE! And they don’t want you to hurt your hands! Awwww.

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I saw some really great signage in China that made me laugh and sometimes made me feel perplexed and I liked them all a lot. Here are my favorites!

This is from a menu in Harbin… but how to decide if I should order the “The syrup forks the fever” or the “The gold medal burns the goose?”

The “CrazySelf-Help” Karaoke Bar in Harbin.

Yeah, people should totally be “thinkgking” of that before urinating. This sign was in a (very fancy) mens restroom at Qingcheng Mountain, which is actually the birthplace of the Tao religion so I guess they want to make sure everyone remains all Zen. Er, Tao. (Ross took this picture so don’t blame me if it’s all shaky.)

This ticket sign for a museum in Harbin is not exactly PC: you’ve got your “Old People” price, and your “Deformity People” price, in addition to everyone else.

I can’t help reading the message on this Christmas decoration like a command. “Xmas! Marry!”

The first 2 seem reasonable, but the last one really seems a little lofty for being a random sign in a private KTV (karaoke) room (in Tibet Hotel, Chengdu.) If it helps, the name of the private karaoke room was “Sacred Umbrella.”

These meat cubes roasted on a skewer with Caucasian flavor are looking delicious on this ad for a Russian restaurant in Harbin. Doesn’t mention whether it contains actual Caucasians or not though.

This is one of my most favorite signs. These are the Chengdu Municipal Rules Pertaining to Civilzed Tour which are all over the city, in touristy spots. All of the rules are really applicable to life, but I particularly like:
#1: “Don’t spit.” HA! In China? Yeah right! Everyone is hocking loogies constantly.
#3: “Don’t give animal any food without permit when you are in the zoo.” Is this REALLY a problem?
#5: “Do not be out for small advantages.” No idea what that refers to, I’m guessing euphemism.
#7: “Do not wear clothes exposing the neck or shoulders in public places.” This is China, not Saudi Arabia, so I don’t get that one either- we saw plenty o’ necks and shoulders and no one seemed to mind.
#8: “Advocate a happy and healthy way of life. Resist superstition. Avoid pornography, gambling and drug.” Amen to that. Although realistically, I’m not sure reading it on this sign is going to be the tipping point for people in the clutches of those particular vices.

Oddly enough, there are basically no resources I could find on the web or in a book or really ANYWHERE about where and what to eat in Harbin, China. Being home to the fabulous winter wonderland known as the Harbin Snow and Ice World I thought maybe other people had gone there and eaten things and written something about it but it seems that’s actually not the case. And what little is written about it is pretty thin on details AND choices. So, in an effort to provide a helpful, instructive resource for anyone who needs/wants to eat in this frigid burg of 10 million people or so- I offer you what I learned about eating and drinking from my short trip there this month, but I warn you… it ain’t much.

The bulk of the (mostly useless) travel resources on Harbin were wont to describe these frost-covered folks of Northeastern China as gruff, hardy types who drink a lot to stay warm. I don’t know if that’s exactly true, but because of its proximity to Siberia, Harbin is home to many Russians so of course there is a heavy Russian influence on the food. The upshot of this is that there is some good Russian food to be had.

the Russian onion dome of St. Sophia church now houses a museum of Harbin history in its gorgeous interior.

Harbin is not touristy for Westerners, which means 3 things, as far as I can tell. The first thing is that you can eat well really cheaply- more challenging in more well-visited Chinese cities- and have a sit-down dinner for 2, in a perfectly nice restaurant with drinks, for no more than US $10, or even cheaper for lunch or breakfast. The second and most difficult thing (for me, and other non-Chinese speakers I assume) is that there is not much English spoken and there are not always English menus, which can pose challenges. For example, one morning we had no trouble getting big yummy plates of fried dumplings but it took us about 20 minutes of pointing, gesturing, and pantomiming to get a bottle of water. But, food being food, you can generally figure it out! And the third and funniest thing is that when they do have an English menu, often, hilarity ensues from reading the bizarre translations.

There is a long, cobblestone pedestrian street that combines Chinese, Western, and Russian architecture in an attractive way. This pedestrian street, Zhongyang Da Jie, or the Central Street, is home to many restaurants and quite a few bars.

A cheaper, chillier, chancier alternative to taking a taxi home in the cold.

Of course, Harbin is not immune to Western influence- you can get your standard fast food in Harbin, and as in the rest of China, KFC reigns supreme. With over 30 branches in town, they are so ubiquitous that one place we were looking for was described to us as “near the KFC on the main street” and we were vexed not to be able to find it- until it dawned on us that there was, in fact, a KFC on every other block of the main street. You can find McDonalds and Pizza Hut as well. But the only vestige of globalization that you will probably actually desire will not be available, because Harbin remains untouched and unspoilt by all of the good Western coffee chains, including Starbucks. You’ll have to turn to watery hot chocolate, Nescafe, jasmine tea, or whiskey to warm and comfort yourself on the cold winter nights (and mornings and afternoons too.)

But that’s quite enough exposition: Here are my thoughts on some places to eat and drink!

USABucks

How to get there: it’s on Zhongyang Da Jie, about 3 blocks down from the Songhua River end. It has a pretty big sign so it would be hard to miss.

This is a HILARIOUS place. With no Starbucks, you might think of trying USABucks but I recommend you go for an alcoholic drink there, NOT a coffee- the coffee is weaker than a Minnesota bridge and nearly as unpleasant. And while the logo bears a striking resemblance to Starbucks, once inside the place, you’ll see it’s actually done up in Sarsaparilla-style Old West saloon-type deal. But, it has 2 things going for it: it’s really warm inside, and it’s kind of fun. They have snacks too- me personally, I was not adventurous enough to order one of these snacks- here is the menu- a pretty far cry from the scones and muffins you’ll get at the original ‘Bucks.

I know, it’s SO hard to decide whether you want Explode the Valley (?!?!?), Dried Intestines, or Red Bowel with your crappy coffee. But really- go to warm up and order a beer or some whiskey, maybe a Happy Nut to go with it, and enjoy the scene… which may or may not include the owner parading around in full 1920s military regalia, greeting the patrons like a Chinese Eva Peron.

Lao Chang Spring Pancake

How to get there: the address is 180 Zhongyang Da Jie (The Central Street) and it has this nifty sign in English. It’s about 2 blocks down from the Songhua River end of and this is what the sign looks like, for your edification.

This was a great spot! Imagine an order of mu shu pork. Now imagine, like, mu shu everything. That’s pretty much the concept of Lao Chang Spring Pancake. You order a bunch of stuff, and spring pancakes with sauce and onions, and you mu shu all of it up and eat pancakes. It’s really tasty and it’s a pretty nice restaurant- and a nice hearty lunch with entirely too much food, for 2 people, was around US$15 with beer and tea- so I think you could realistically get out of there for much less, if you ordered fewer mu shu-able items. We left more than half of the food uneaten- we just had no idea how big the portions would be or how filling it was.

Orient King of Dumplings

How to get there: I think there is more than one, but the one we went to is a couple of buildings down from the Shangri-La Hotel, so if you are facing the Shangri-La, it’s to your right.

We ate breakfast here because the stupid continental breakfast in the Shangri-La Hotel was 138 yuan per person. That’s like almost US $40 for 2 people which is a crazy price! So we walked on over to Oriental King of Dumplings and got some freshly-made fried dumplings for breakfast each day. You can watch a bunch of folks in surgical masks rolling out and filling the dumplings. They have an English menu… sort of. This is the most bizarre and entertaining bit of the menu:

I totally wanted to order “scalding cymbidium” but Ross wouldn’t let me. What IS that?! And how did they get the word “lobscouse” for soup? (Don’t answer that: according to wikipedia, cymbidium is a kind of orchid and oleaster is a kind of shrub… so those seem odd. It turns out “lobscouse” is an obscure British sailor’s term for a hardtack stew. SO the only logical conclusion I can draw is that the menu translator is actually a myopic, floraphilic, 19th century Liverpudlian stevedore. There is simply no other possible explanation.) We actually did order something from the “Fries explodes” menu one day- mistake- I would stick with the dumplings. At any rate the dumpling section of the menu is translated reasonably – you can get fried or steamed, and for my money the fried are more enjoyable. They’re 3.5 yuan (50 cents) for 6 and each person will probably need around 12. So you can get out of there for a $2 breakfast unless you do as the Chinese do (and apparently, now I do) and drink beer with breakfast, in which case you’ll end up spending a couple more dollars.

Russia Food and Coffee

How to get there: It’s right near the KFC! Just kidding. I mean, it is near a KFC but that’s totally unhelpful in this context. It’s just off Zhongyang Da Jie, essentially across from Lao Chang Spring Pancake- about 2 blocks down from the Songhua River end of the street.

This place is I think the only place I saw in a guidebook- but it makes sense because the food is quite tasty, the service is nice, it’s cheap, it’s a pretty attractive ambiance, and it doesn’t have a funny menu, just a regular menu. We got pot beef which was a deceptively large amount of beef and vegetable stew in a little tiny pot, mashed potatoes with black pepper sauce, and best of all, a fantastic piroshki (they spelled it “piloshki”)- one of my best ever… a good piroshki is hard to find! (The other two that round out my top three are my friend Jane’s homemade ones, and the ones we used to get as kids from a now-defunct Russian shop on 9th and Irving.)

Dinner for 2 was around $10 with beers. They had a lot of fun coffee and tea choices but we were too full. It seemed like it would be a nice place to warm up with a tea and a snack if you’re hanging out on Zhongyang Da Jie during the day!

Mr. Lee California Beef Noodle King U.S.A.

How to get there: they’re a chain so you will see them all over China. The one we went to is near the St. Sophia end of Zhongyang Da Jie (The Central Street.)

I don’t know what is up with this name- I find it pretty amusing- but this is a chain throughout China. We were really hungry and wanted to be warm so we checked it out. For 10 yuan (about US $1.40) you can get a big bowl of passable ramen in beef/soy broth with chunks of beef. The beef is a little like yak meat (ie: chewy as hell) but damn, it’s not too bad, especially if you’re cold and want to be thrifty! I imagine if you were drunk it would also be satisfying. It’s not, like, awesome though.

Ice Palace Bar & Restaurant in the Shangri-La Hotel

How to get there: go to the Shangri-La hotel in the winter and ask where the ice bar is.

The Shangri-La sets up an ice bar- a bar made of ice with ice stools and everything ice- in such a way that you can enter and exit from the warm hotel. There are other ice bars we saw but this one was the coolest because it was the iciest- it had more things made of ice than the other places- and it was kind of hip with good lighting and dance beats. You can also grab a larger table and eat hot pot in this ice bar, which would be an interesting combo of the spicy spicy oil at the icy icy table. If you don’t bring a coat, they’ll lend you one. It was really expensive but I think that’s directly related to the fact that we stupidly ordered really expensive drinks, so I think it would only be kind of be normal hotel expensive if you paid more attention!

Coffee Garden

How to get there: it’s in the Shangri-La hotel.

“Coffee Garden” is a total misnomer because it’s actually a full-service restaurant that’s pretty nice. They have a lot of American/Western food and some kind of somewhat Westernized Chinese options. We only ate here because it was in our hotel and we were too cold to go out, but then it was surprisingly quite good and not nearly as expensive as we expected- reasonable, in fact… which is funny because everything else in the hotel was really expensive. We kept getting French Onion Soup room service and tried some other soups, which were really pretty tasty if you’re in the mood for something Western- but we really didn’t try the other stuff. A meal of hearty soup was around 30 yuan or less, like $4 or $5, which seemed reasonable in this context. Also, you can get imported wine if you have the hankering, but that will set you back a bit more. They also have a big fancy buffet that many people were partaking of- very lavish- but I’m not a buffet type of gal. After a couple weeks in China, sometimes you have the urge to go West. Note: bad ice cream.

DDL Bar and Coffee

How to get there: it’s a few storefronts off Zhongyang Da Jie, just around the corner from USABucks (walk down towards St. Sophia and hang a right.) Look for the “coffee” sign.

We were having some trouble finding an after-dinner spot and then frigid feet and desperation led us to settle in here. It was a nice surprise- a sweet, mellow, well-lit little cafe/bar with nice people and a good vibe. We had yummy lavender tea and beers and listened to the Russian hipsters chat and smoke.

An alternate, and probably more accurate title for this blog post might be “let me write down some good things I ate and drank in Beijing before I forget where they are or what they are called or how much they cost.” But hey, with 20 million people and a sprawl that’s not to be believed, maybe this will help you navigate the massive metropolis a teeny tiny bit. We ate a lot of things, and these were the definite standouts.

DELICIOUS THINGS IN BEIJING

#701 at S Silk Road, on Lotus Lane in Houhai
How to get there: get a subway or taxi to the gateway to the Houhai Lakes area. Walk through the pedestrian gate and veer left. It’s about halfway down and it’s all glass and stuff. The exact address is 51-8 Di’anmen Xidajie, and the phone number is 86-10-6615-5515.
So this is primarily a restaurant with Yunnan food, from SW China. It seems like it’s going to be a tourist trap but then it’s not, also it was recommended to us by Chinese people who go there. It’s all glassy and modern with a weirdly rendered waterfall that flows under the glass stairs, which I think is supposed to look classy but it’s kind of odd. The menu is huge, and funny. Like, they have wikipedia on their menu. Somehow they translated a type of mushroom into the word “wikipedia” and it’s all over the place. Anyway the best thing was #701 which was something like beef braised in pu’er tea leaves and it was super tasty beef in a rich sauce that was so good I dipped my rice bowl into it to get sauce on it and made a huge mess and embarrassed myself, I’m sure. Lunch for 2 people was around US$25.

Lamb “pancake” at Made In China, in the Grand Hyatt Beijing
How to get there: tell the taxi “GRAND HYATT”
One day we went all fancy shmancy and ate at a restaurant in the Grand Hyatt. I had read that the chef was a native Beijinger and an up-and-coming young guy on the culinary scene, so I wanted to check it out. Also, the kitchen is totally incorporated into the restaurant, surrounded by glass, so you can see everything that’s going on. We sat at a counter in front of a glass wall and got to watch a guy preparing the homemade dumplings and potstickers. The overall design of the restaurant was fun and fabulous as well. All of the food we had there was pretty fabulous but the standout was this thing they called a pancake which was really like 2 thin discs of fried dough that sandwiched a spicy, sort of curried Middle-Eastern-tasting mixture of ground lamb. I felt like I could have eaten about a hundred of them, given enough time. The restaurant was insanely expensive by Chinese standards, as we ended up dropping around US$100 on lunch for 2 people. Still, if you don’t want to spend the big bucks then just go, drink water, and eat some pancakes at the very least.

Hot Chocolate at Panjiayuan Market
How to get there: tell the taxi “Panjiayuan” pronounced “pahn-jaw-yoo-AHN” but where you say all the syllables together fast and kind of loud and with a lot of false confidence
I don’t think it’s just because it was 17 degrees and windy that day at the market, the hot chocolate from the vendor guy was damn good. He made it in a fancy Italian-looking espresso machine and it was chocolatey and foamy like a latte. It was surprisingly very expensive for China, like US$4 for a cup. I failed to take a photo of the momentous occasion but you probably know what hot chocolate in a paper cup looks like.

Pizza and Beer at The Tree, in Sanlitun area
How to get there: get to the Sanlitun bar street area, and ask people. The address is technically 43 Bei San Li Tun but be careful because all the streets in that area are like, something+San Li Tun. If you see Poachers, it’s kind of like behind that, around the corner to the left.
They call it The Secret Tree with good reason. It’s crazy hard to find. We were lucky enough to stumble upon their sister restaurant, called Nearby The Tree, and when we asked where the Tree was, a guy working there actually put on his coat and led us through the maze of hutong alleyways to show us where it was. So they say the pizza is the best in Beijing, which isn’t saying much- it’s not great, but it’s fine and a nice respite from, you know, Chinese food. More exciting is the extensive Belgian beer list, so welcome in the land of watery Yanjing beer and essentially no wine or liquor (unless you want to break the bank) and the warm and cozy nature of the place itself, with its mix of Chinese hipsters, families, and ex-pats of all ages. Pizza and a bunch of Belgian draft beers was around US$30 for 2 people.

The very secret entrance to the elusive Secret Tree.

Peking/Beijing Duck at a Chinese place that translates to “Daily Food and Beijing Duck Restaurant”, address unknown and stuff only in Chinese symbols, in the CBD
How to get there: ask a bilingual person to look it up for you and write down the address in Chinese so you can give it to a taxi driver.
I know, lame details on this one but our Chinese friends took us here so what can I tell you. If you can figure out how to find it, though, the menu has pictures so you can just point to the waiter what you want. The portions are huge and the Beijing duck was fabulous. As well, there was fish poached in oil and Sichuan peppercorn, which has the effect of numbing your mouth as if you swished with Vicks Vaporub. The place was hopping, a big, noisy, brightly lit room full of Chinese families celebrating New Years Eve, and our hosts said it was because it serves very good quality food at low prices. Dinner for 5 which was really like dinner for 10 because we took MORE than half the food home, plus a bunch of beers, was only around US$30. Also, remember that in Beijing they have never called it Peking Duck because they have never called Beijing Peking, only Westerners called it that. So they call it Beijing Duck, not Peking Duck.

Whiskey at the Owl Bar
How to get there: it’s in the hutong area so kind of confusing but if you follow these simple directions it should work. If you are standing in front of the Drum and Bell Towers facing them, with the Drum in front, and the Bell behind it, enter the area and pass both towers so that you are to the right of the towers. Where the street ends after the Bell tower, turn right onto Doufuchi Hutong (no sign though, I think), take your second left, then your second right, and you will hit it shortly. It’s on the corner. These are like little alleyways so it’s not that far.
This was a day that was so fun, but so cold, that we actually got the bright idea to stop in this random bar and take a shot of whiskey. Seriously. At like 3 PM. Then, as sometimes random places are, the place was amazing. On a corner in a tiny 800-year-old Beijing neighborhood, you walk into a bar where a guy is playing Resident Evil on his Wii and there are Bing Crosby Christmas carols on the soundtrack. He clearly loves America and he is eager, and kind, although his English is poor. You are alone drinking your giant shot of whiskey (about a double shot of Johnnie Walker Black Label, US$4.50) and as you leave, happy to have warmed up your insides and your outsides, he thrusts a box of markers at you. He wants you to write a message, as countless others have adorned his walls with messages and pictures in every language. Fabulous.

“Rural food” lunch at a tiny hut near the Great Wall
How to get there: befriend native Beijingers, spend time building a relationship and hosting them in your own city, and then one day visit them and ask them if something of this nature is possible, and hope that they are willing to try and make it happen for you.
Again, our Chinese friends took us to this place. If you can call it a place. I’m actually not telling you about this to be helpful, just to share an incredible food and culture experience with you. Basically we wanted to go to the Great Wall and they didn’t want us to subject us to the touristy pieces of the wall that are open to everyone, so they took us to a little tiny town that was buffeted on each side by the Great Wall. We climbed a little dirt trail and our friends chatted with a woman in a shack, asking her if it was OK to enter this part of the Wall, since the families that live here are meant to act as guardians of this section of the wall. She agreed and apparently our hosts also arranged for her to cook for us when we were done hiking. After an incredibly serene and moving 3 hour hike up and down a long section of the Great Wall of China, completely alone but for the 5 in our little group, we were tired and freezing as the weather was around 5 or 10 degrees with galeforce winds the whole time. Now let me tell you, when they told us we would have “rural food” my expectations were not high. I thought, OK, this will probably be pretty gross and served in a cold place. But upon entering the shack post-hike, everyone took off their shoes and stripped off heavy coats, hats, scarves, and gloves and sat on a large kang, which took up at least half of the room. A kang is actually a sort of old-fashioned big flat stone bed that is heated from below with a fire, so it’s warm and toasty to sit on it. After drinking some tea and relaxing a bit, copious amounts of delicious farm-fresh food started appearing. We had been warned that this was peasant food, but if that’s peasant food then I’ll gladly become a peasant. OK maybe not because the “bathroom” was a freezing cold brick shack with no walls with a hole in the ground but still the food was ridiculously good. Fresh whole chicken with Sichuan peppercorn and star anise, plump rice with eggs, battered pepper leaves, and best of all green beans with tiny pieces of pork sausage, ginger, and garlic. I’m dreaming of it right now! My only sadness was that my Dad wasn’t there with me as he would have certainly loved to experience that particular dish, as it was similar to his favorite Hunan dish, which is spicy beans with ham. Lunch for 5 was around US$20. Leaving us plenty of extra dough to sneak in a Chinese foot massage (around US$4.50) before dinner!

All of the food and kang magic happened in that little tiny hut. And just to give you an idea of the view from aforementioned hut…shaZAAM!

Hooters, just kidding, of course we did not eat there, but can you believe they have Hooters in Beijing?!?!?!