Have you had a Marcona almond yet? They are not like other almonds, which is to say, OK but unexciting. Marcona almonds:

1. are shorter and rounder in shape than regular almonds
2. are traditionally fried or roasted in olive oil lightly before serving (or selling)
3. taste far more buttery and delicious than regular almonds (see 2), and
4. have a cool and exotic-sounding name.

They are kind of soft and have a wrinkly texture. They are a fantastic compliment to honey and stinky cheeses. That is, if you can refrain from eating them all before you get out the honey and the cheeses.

Marcona almonds are from Spain, where they are known as the Queen of Almonds. I’m not sure if that includes some kind of tiny, almond-sized tiara and sash or what, but I like it. I desperately want to be able to tell you that Marcona almonds come from a faraway and romantic medieval village called Marcona that’s surrounded by crumbling stone walls and has a rich oral history and Moorish-influenced architecture, but I can’t confirm that. By “can’t confirm” I mean I just made it up. Sadly, when I look in Google maps, I can’t even confirm that there is a place in Spain with that name. Suffice it to say they are from Spain and they are delicious.

But I can tell you why Brussels sprouts are called Brussels sprouts. Five bucks to the first person to guess where the Brussels sprout was first cultivated. That’s right: Belgium, of which Brussels is the capital. Knowing the Belgium connection will help people remember the spelling too–since they are often mistakenly referred to as Brussel sprouts or Brussel’s sprouts. But this isn’t supposed to be a spelling lesson, so I’ll just get to the recipe.

Ingredients:

• 1/4 lb bacon, cut in small pieces
• 1 large or 2 small shallots, diced finely
• 6-8 oz Brussels sprouts, cleaned, trimmed, and thinly sliced
• 1/4 cup white wine
• zest of 1 lemon
• 1 Tblsp heavy cream
• 1/4 cup grated parmesan
• 3 Tblsp Marcona almonds, chopped coarsely
• 8 oz fresh or dried fettucine

Method:

• Bring a pot of salted water to a boil for the fettucine.
• Meanwhile, cook the bacon in a large saute pan over medium low heat until crisp. Remove to paper towels with a slotted spoon. Pour bacon grease out of the pan, leaving about a tablespoon of grease still in the pan.
• Increase heat to medium and put shallots and Brussels sprouts in the pan. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Cook, stirring every few minutes, until sprouts are browning and shallots are translucent, about 5-7 minutes.
• While shallots and sprouts are browning, bring the fettucine water back to the boil and add noodles to cook. When they are cooked al dente, remove them to a bowl with tongs, reserving the pasta water.
• When the Brussels sprouts and shallots are browned, add white wine and lemon zest. Cook until wine evaporates. Add cream and parmesan and cook about 30 seconds, just to heat through and combine. Add about 1/2 cup of pasta water and cook, stirring, until sauce is creamy. Add almonds and bacon and stir to heat and combine.
• Toss sauce with pasta. Garnish with parmesan and almonds and serve immediately.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

A few notes: my stove is very hot, so the braising time may be as little as 8-10 minutes for me. After the sprouts are braised, I usually take the lid off and continue cooking to boil off the excess liquid. Also, sometimes I double the bacon amount. So sue me.

If you would like Todd and Diane show you the way to brussels sprouts success every time, get their recipe (and some gorgeous pictures to get your mouth watering.) Of course, first I’ll have to find time to try some of their other recipes for brussels sprouts too… I’ve got my eye on this one in particular. Luckily it’s brussels sprout season so I’ve got lots of chances! Thanks, guys!

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

I had planned to serve the BLT eggs in the ramekins with a toasted English muffin, imagining people delicately scooping and sopping up bits from the bottom and sides of the dish. However, one of my guests unexpectedly wowed my by running his knife around the edge of the ramekin, placing the nook/cranny side of his English muffin on top of the ramekin, and flipping it out on top like a mini souffle! This small but ingenious gesture makes this already somewhat impressive breakfast dish cuter, more interactive, and yes, more delicious. Because things that come out in a molded shape upside down totally taste better than normal things. Trust me on this one!

The bacon/vegetable part of this recipe could be prepared ahead, placed in the ramekins, and left overnight in the fridge. In the morning you would just have to preheat the oven and add the eggs and cream to each ramekin before baking. Because they cook in the oven, it’s a terrific choice for a larger group. Don’t worry if you don’t own ramekins–any small oven-proof vessel, like a ceramic coffee cup or pyrex prep bowl, will do just fine.

BLT Baked Eggs
makes 6

Ingredients:

• 9-10 slices bacon
• 5-6 cups baby arugula leaves
• 3/4 cup tomatoes, chopped, or cherry tomatoes cut in half
• leaves from 4 sprigs of thyme
• 6 eggs
• 3 Tblsp heavy cream, divided
• coarse sea salt or fleur de sel and freshly ground black pepper
• toasted English muffins to serve

Method:

• Cook bacon in a large saute pan until crispy. Move to paper towels. Pour bacon grease into a bowl and reserve it.
• Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
• Heat bacon pan over medium heat. Add arugula leaves, tomatoes, thyme, and a few grinds of pepper to the pan. Cook, flipping with tongs, until arugula is just wilted. Put vegetables into a strainer over a bowl to release some of the liquid.
• Brush 6 ramekins with bacon grease all over bottom and sides. Put the ramekins onto a sheet pan or 9×13 pan.
• Evenly distribute arugula mixture into the bottom of the ramekins. Crumble about 1 1/2 pieces of bacon into each ramekin on top of the arugula.
• Gently crack an egg into each ramekin, trying not to break the yolk. (Full disclosure: I broke 1 out of 6.) Drizzle about 2 teaspoons of cream over each egg. Sprinkle with a few grains of coarse salt.
• Bake the eggs until the whites are set and the yolks are still runny, about 15-18 minutes.
• Serve each with an English muffin and show your guests how to suavely unmold them at the table.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Here’s the how to: Chop potatoes and steak (or chicken, pork chop, meat loaf, whatev) into roughly equal size cubes (1/2 inch-ish). Chop a couple shallots or onions finely. If you’re like me, then for some odd reason your leftovers also fortuitously include a ziploc containing 5 cooked bacon slices and you should definitely chop those up as well. If you’re lucky enough to own a vegetable, like a bell pepper or broccoli or something, well then your fridge is better stocked than mine. Go ahead and pat yourself on the back, then give that the chop chop as well.

Heat some butter (or lard, duck fat, olive oil, whatev) in a large saute pan over high heat. Add the potatoes- those should get crispy so they need to cook the longest. If you have some hard vegetable like broccoli then throw that in with the potatoes. Season with salt and pepper. Toss or stir to brown the potatoes on multiple sides. When you’ve got some nice browning on at least a couple of sides, add the shallots (and your softer vegetable if you’re using one: I’m talking bell pepper or zucchini-type stuff) and cook another couple minutes until the shallots soften but not so long that they brown. Add the meat(s) and cook just until heated through, tossing or stirring, a couple minutes. Check the seasoning and adjust. If you really want to clog your family’s arteries, fry some eggs and put ‘em over the top. What the hell. You only live once.

I like to eat this with some Greek yogurt mixed in, but then again, I’m weird like that.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

I put this beloved recipe up as a guest post on Thursday Night Smackdown, which is known for its witty proprietress Michelle, who swears like a stevedore. Ergo, don’t be surprised if I seem a little grittier over there. Or funnier. I think I tried harder to be funny because she’s really funny and I wanted to impress her, and you. Hopefully it worked. If not, just think about the bacon candy some more. Bacon. Plus candy. Bacon candy!

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

UPDATE: as a commenter noted this is not a real product, but a ThinkGeek.com April Fool’s joke. Real or fake, it’s still gag-worthy.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Cornbread can be too sweet or too mealy or too dry or too boring, but this cornbread is none of those things. I’m guessing it’s largely because of the copious amounts of bacon and bacon grease that go into it, but there could be other reasons. I like it warm out of the oven or lightly toasted. With all the fat in it, even I don’t need to put butter on it… and that’s saying quite a lot since I like to put butter on EVERYTHING. But it’s not solely enhanced by the pig products- it’s rounded out with caramelized onions and a measure of parmesan cheese just for the heck of it. So swine up your cornbread- one bite and you will wonder why you have spent all these years eating stupid regular non-porked cornbread.

Props to my friend Rodney for the bones of the recipe, who wants to try this with pork sausage instead of bacon and turn it into stuffing, which makes me ask, great, what time should I be there for dinner, pal?

Swinetastic Cornbread

Ingredients:

• ½ lb. thick cut bacon or pancetta, cut in small squares
• 1 yellow onion, sliced thinly
• 1 cup flour
• 1 cup cornmeal
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 1 tblsp baking powder
• ½ tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp salt
• ¾ cup sour cream or plain yogurt
• ½ cup milk or buttermilk
• 1 egg
• ¼ cup bacon grease (liquid) + more for greasing the pan and cooking the onions
• ½ cup grated or shaved parmigiano

Method:

• Cook bacon over medium heat until brown and crispy. Remove to paper towels with slotted spoon and set aside.
• Pour out all but about 2 tsp of bacon grease and reserve for later. Turn heat to low and add onions. Season with salt and cook, stirring often, until onions are caramelized, about 20-30 minutes. Remove and set aside.
• Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a loaf pan or square 9×9 pan with extra bacon grease.
• Mix together flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder and soda, and salt in a bowl.
• In a separate bowl, mix sour cream or yogurt, buttermilk, and egg.
• Mix together dry and wet ingredients, being careful not to overmix. Add liquid bacon grease and stir to combine.
• Gently stir in cheese, bacon, and onions. Pour into prepared pan and bake 45 minutes to an hour, until a toothpick comes out clean.
• Serve warm or let cool and toast lightly before serving.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

This is a pretty heavy dish, obviously- sweet and filling. It’s definitely more of a Sunday brunch than a 7 AM weekday kind of thing. Mostly because you’ll go into a food coma after eating it and might need to lie down.

While I thought it sounded good as is, I has a vision that using cinnamon bread for the french toast would kick it into the next level. It’s best to use thin slices of the cinnamon bread for the best ratio of bread to filling. The sweetness begged for a salinated cured pork product so I served it with salty, thick-cut bacon. Elvis may have left the building, but he left behind some damn fine French toast.

French Toast a la Elvis

serves 6.

Ingredients:

• 6 eggs
• 1/2 cup milk (can use some or all buttermilk if desired)
• pinch salt
• 1 loaf cinnamon swirl bread, sliced into 12 pieces
• crunchy peanut butter to taste, about 10 tablespoons total
• 3 bananas, sliced in rounds about 1/8 inch thick
• butter and non-stick spray for cooking

Method:

• Whisk eggs and milk together.
• Heat large non-stick skillet over medium heat. Add about 1 tsp butter.
• Dip bread in egg mixture and cook on both sides until lightly browned. Repeat until all bread has been cooked. You will have to add more butter for each batch.
• Lay french toast on a tray. Spread about 1 Tblsp peanut butter on each piece of bread. Lay 1/2 banana’s worth of rounds on top of 1/2 the french toast and sandwich with a peanut buttered one.
• Heat a panini press and spray with nonstick spray. Cook sandwiches until browned and peanut butter is a little melty.*
• Serve immediately with salty bacon.

* If you don’t have a panini press, you can make these sandwiches and then put them, assembled, in a non stick pan. Weigh them down with something heavy so they get smooshed and browned.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

And with this, I am officially DONE with bacon-everything except for, of course, the actual eatin’ kind of bacon. That kind is still OK. But please stop already with the bandaids, the air freshener, and yes, the luggage tags. It’s old. It’s over. Move on to pork rinds or something.

Here you go: I made you a Venn diagram to express my position more clearly.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.