Eating & Drinking

I’ve tasted many Chicago pizzas, but the spinach and cheese stuffed pizza at Bacino’s is my favorite. I could explain how they chop all of the cheese and spinach together to make a perfect blend and so forth but I think the picture is pretty much loud and clear on the deliciousness front. They have excellent buffalo wings, too. Bacino’s: 2204 N. Lincoln Ave.

• TROUT ROE, coconut, hyssop, passionfruit: I don’t even know what hyssop is but damn. This hand-harvested steelhead roe with banana, coconut, and passionfruit gels and pastes, with fleur de sel foam, was a screamin’ start to the eating evening.
• CAULIFLOWER, five coatings, three gels, apple: Five cubes of cauliflower puree with aromatic apple soup. Each cube was crusted with a different dried or dehydrated aromatic such as cheese, nuts, or what have you.
• LOBSTER, popcorn, butter, curry: I think this was my favorite. Apparently it was supposed to be on a theme of “things that taste good with butter.” OK, you had me at butter. There were too many things on this plate to describe but they included a butter poached lobster tail, a butter sphere you popped to get melted butter out of, curry pudding, popcorn, a popcorn gelee ribbon (don’t ask), corn kernels, dehydrated onion, and in my mind an unnecessary dollop of palate-cleansing mango-lime gel.
• WAGYU BEEF, maitake, smoked date, blis elixir: Maitake mushroom on an applewood-smoked fig puree, raw wagyu beef, a dusting of fennel pollen, and sherry that had been aged in casks that previously held maple syrup and bourbon.
• RABBIT, prune, shallot, burning leaves: A tempura’d chunk of tasty rabbit loin with prune gelee, shallot, impressively served on a skewer of smoldering oak leaves.
• HOT POTATO, cold potato, black truffle, butter: I could eat about a hundred of these. You’ve got a cold potato, chive, butter, parmigiano, and truffle slice on a metal toothpick stuck into the side of a tiny wax bowl that holds hot potato soup. Pull the pin to let the cold items fall into the hot soup and drink the whole thing like a shot.
• SHORT RIB, Guinness, peanut, fried broccoli: Melty soft short ribs caged under a Guinness gelatin sheet. Peanuts and broccoli in different forms, including pastes, shaved, etc.
• BLACK TRUFFLE, explosion, romaine, parmesan: Literally an explosion especially for one person at our table who shall remain nameless but who will heretofore be thought of as the one who uncouthly squirted hot truffle juice at the table. One ravioli filled with truffle tea and served with romaine and a truffle slice. Meant to be taken in one bite with your mouth CLOSED to contain the explosion.
• LAMB, saffron, poppy seed, pistachio: Thought I would love this but it was not my favorite. Sous vide lamb in a lamb and veal stock with white poppy seed custard, foam, cippolinis, and I can’t remember where the pistachios came in at all…
• CONCORD GRAPE, yogurt, mint, long pepper: An exploding ball of liquid grape sorbet with a mint shell and bathing in approximately 3 drops of yogurt water. Squirt in your mouth, not in your hands. No idea what the long pepper had to do with this one.
• CRABAPPLE, foie gras, brown sugar, sorrel: An 18-inch metal skewer pointed at your face, with one bite’s worth of crapapple mousse coated in foie gras with apple gelee and a caramel chip. Diners were encouraged to attack the skewer hands-free with one barbaric chomp to the skewer.
• BACON, butterscotch, apple, thyme: Dehydrated bacon suspended from a wire, dipped in caramel and flavored with thyme and dried apple. One bite o’ heaven.
• PUMPKIN, gruyere, Blis maple syrup, smoke: Points for showmanship. Smoke-filled pillows arrive at each person’s place setting. A plate is set upon the pillows which deflate slowly and release smoke aromas to enhance the experience of the dish. There was a lot going on here- roasted pumpkin, pineapple puree, oloroso sherry pudding, maple cream, cereals and seeds, sugar crystals, and puffed rice.
• CHOCOLATE, fig, olive, pine: I was roundly chastised for not finishing this but let’s face it, by this point I was stuffed. A soft chocolate sheet, olive oil custard, and elements of figs and olives plus pine nuts. The olives were mostly in sort of a crumbly form and not too offensive- mostly salty with a hint of brine. It came with pine ice cream which I imagine is made by, you know, soaking pine needles in warm cream or something, which was a little weird.
• DRY CARAMEL, salt: The science nerd in me LOVED this finale. Picture a shot glass full of dry caramel crystals, roughly the feel of raw sugar. Put these in your mouth and they turn to liquid caramel as if by magic. Magic! Seriously. A simple yet great end to an incredible night of molecular gastronomy.

At some point you’re going to want to take a break from your eating orgy to hear some Chicago blues, and there is no better place than B.L.U.E.S. Plus, the name is easy to remember even after a few drinks. Pack yourself in and get ready to rock- this intimate, funky spot has live music 7 nights a week. B.L.U.E.S.: 2519 N Halsted St.

The Museum of Contemporary Art is a manageable and very well-curated modern museum, and their museum shop is one of the best I’ve ever been to–most of my friends and family will find MCA gifts in their stockings this year! MCA: 220 East Chicago Avenue.

Before your trip, check the Second City website for tickets–they have shows almost every day–and experience a live sketch or improv show. Second City is, of course, the comedic birthplace of some of the funniest people ever, like Tina Fey, Stephen Colbert, Mike Myers, Jim Belushi, and Steve Carell. Second City: 1616 N. Wells St.

If you’re in Chi-town around Christmas time, stop by the Christkindlmarket – an outdoor German-style Christmas market in Daley Plaza, with ornaments for sale, hot mulled wine, potato pancakes, sausages, and lots and lots of people. It’s a fun and convivial atmosphere, but it does get quite crowded on weekends so you may want to go early. Christkindlmarket: Check website for dates and location. 

What are your favorite things to eat, drink, and do in Chicago? Let me know so I can try them next time!

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Voodoo Doughnuts is famous for a reason- they have fabulous donuts and a slick sense of humor. While I opted for a relatively tame maple-bacon bar (maple bar with 2 thick slices of bacon on top) the special that day was intriguing: a caramel/Cheeto mashup called “Chester’s Revenge.” There’s often a line, so get a cup of coffee before you stake out your spot.

2. Sample local music and buy hip t-shirts at Portland Saturday Market

Portland Saturday Market is a must-do in Portland. Despite the name, it happens on Saturdays AND Sundays, and is open almost all year-round. You can do all sorts of things there- eat from food stalls, browse local crafts, people watch, you name it. My favorite things to do are to buy some of the coolest t-shirts from some of the hippest people around, and to check out the local musicians scattered around to entertain. I mean, what’s cooler than playing a trombone and an accordion at the same time? Nothing. Pretty much nothing.

3. Pretend to be a local at Rontoms

Rontoms is the kind of bar you could get very comfortable in. Maybe it’s the mismatched 1970s couches, maybe it’s the snacks available (like deviled eggs and little cups of ice cream from the artisanal place next door,) or maybe it’s the drinks, made with locally distilled spirits. Either way, this is a great place to see how Portlandians live. Hint: if you want to fit in while in Portland, men will need to grow facial hair, and women will need vintage clothing.

4. Dine at Le Pigeon’s counter for a fantastic dinner and a conversation with the chef 

Le Pigeon is a phenomenal restaurant that’s as small as it is good. That is to say, it’s very small and very good. They told us it would be a 2 hour wait when we arrived, but it turned out to be only about 30 minutes. I had one of the best salmon dishes I’ve ever had in my life, and enjoyed the convivial nature of the counter seats, as we got to chat with our neighbors and with the chef as he prepared our food. I only wish there were a Le Pigeon in San Francisco!

5. Smell your way through the Rose Garden

It’s not called the City of Roses for nothing. Portland is famous for its rose husbandry. (Is that word for flora, or just fauna?) It’s actually called the test rose garden, because they test out new hybrid kinds of roses there. How you test a rose, I do not know, but if a stroll through the fragrant lanes of the Rose Garden doesn’t get you in a good mood, you might need another doughnut, you cranky bastard.

6. Capture the princess with a cocktail in hand

A bar + an arcade full of old-skool video games: why are these not more ubiquitous?  Ground Kontrol “barcade” is every adult nerd’s dream hangout, especially those of us who grew up in the Duck Hunt/Galaga/BurgerTime era. A visit there will almost make you question why arcade games didn’t come standard with cup holders. If you’ve got kids, it’s no problem: just visit between noon and 5, it’s all arcade and no bar.

7. Sip strong coffee at Stumptown Roasters

Starbucks might be the talk of Seattle, but this is a town where Stumptown reigns. Coffee-lovers have been known to make pilgrimages to this Portland-based roaster for their dark, dreamy cups of caffeine. The one in the Ace Hotel offers some excellent Portland people-watching opportunities, too.

8. Drink in the Pearl District

Allow your senses to drink in all that this lovely neighborhood has to offer, and/or have a drink while you’re in it. The Pearl District is full of unique shops, cafes, and restaurants. It’s a prime example of warehouse-chic gentrification, that I can easily see myself living in, if only it didn’t rain so darn much up here. The perfectly crafted Latin-influenced cocktails at Andina are my top pick for turning your gray skies blue.

9. Get zen at the Japanese Garden

Near the Rose Garden you’ll find an excellent Japanese Garden. Not only is it a premiere Japanese garden, but they also have cool classes, lectures, workshops and exhibits. Note: the Rose Garden is free, but the Japanese Garden charges a fee for entry.

10. Plan your next trip

Once you’ve gotten a taste of Portland, you’ll want to come back! The best time to visit is in the summer, since it’s most likely to be warm and least likely to rain. July and August are great months to enjoy Portland. And with so much to see, eat, and do there, you will probably want to plan another trip.

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The first sighting was a rocket ship and a UFO within a few stores of one another, housing a used clothing store (rocket ship) and a cafe (UFO.)

Next I swooned at the 1950s sensibility of the Kurt’s Camera Corral sign. Plus, I like picturing cameras in a corral. (I was also nostalgic for the idea of a modern store that offered service with the price…)

Hiway House Motel beckoned from across the street–too bad we already had a place to stay.

A few more steps and I saw a concert was playing soon – Mars Hill Church? Never heard of them, but they’re probably the next hot indie band. Or… this is a church that lives in an old movie theater. Yes, it was the latter.

I couldn’t get enough of the ironing guy in Master Cleaners; if this were a video you could see his neon arm moves back and forth, disconnecting from his neon body at the shoulder, as he endlessly irons his neon shirt.

Crossing the street, I was hit with one of the most epically geeky and incredibly rendered murals I have ever seen. The breadth and depth of comic and sci-fi characters in the mural outside the Astro Zombies Comic Shop are amazing. Comic book nerds, this should be a stop on your pilgrimage.

I don’t know who these green guys are- anyone? But I know that only in this mural would they hang out with “Hard Knock Life” version of Dr. Evil and Mini-Me.

All this sightseeing in the desert heat had me ready for some ice cream. Or in this case, frozen custard. I could tell from the sign that the flavor of the day at Chillz would help me beat the heat.

I imagine New Mexicans probably have a pretty easy time dressing up for Halloween… between Masks y Mas and Larry’s Hats (and old jewelry,) they’ve got it covered.

A cold beer on the rooftop deck of Bailey’s on the Beach–a kitschy ocean-themed bar in the middle of the desert–gives you a great vantage point to see the sun set over the University of New Mexico.

The nighttime desert sky beams bright blue with all the neon lights.

(Everything seen here is located on Central Avenue in Albuquerque, roughly between Carlisle Boulevard and Princeton Drive, except Baileys, which is just off Central Ave at 2929 Monte Vista.)

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We unanimously agreed (in this case, unanimous only required two votes, but whatever) that the best ice cream in New York right now is a Salty Pimp from the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck. No one was as surprised as the gelatoholic, since he usually eschews soft serve. But this was no ordinary soft serve! It was special soft serve, injected with liquid dulce de leche, sprinkled with freshly cracked salt, and chocolate-dipped. Five bucks might sound steep for a soft serve, but after one bite I knew I would have paid like $500 for this thing. The Big Gay Ice Cream Truck roams around, so you can check their website or their Twitter feed to see where they are on any given day.

A close second was “now for something completely different” Mia Chef Gelateria, a brand new spot in the East 30s. It’s an odd location for such high quality gelato, and in a charming twist, it’s both made and served by the young, friendly owner. It’s so good that I’m not sure the bridge-and-tunnel partiers who hang out in Kips Bay are the right audience for these feats of frozen bliss. On the other hand, a lot of the flavors feature booze, cereal, and candy bars, so maybe the guy knows what he’s doing. Chocolate whiskey and tequila fig were standouts–and if you’ve got a little Cap’n in you, you can try the Cap’n Crunch.

I wanted to love Il Laboratorio del Gelato, but I only really really liked it. It’s a beautiful space with big windows so you can see the ice cream being made right in front of you. The fresh mint gelato was pretty fantastic–and made me realize I’ve never had mint ice cream sans chocolate chips, which is a shame–but the sorbets were underwhelming. Oh wait, I just described almost every sorbet ever, so I might be to blame for ordering it. It’s just across from Katz’s Delicatessen, so if you can stomach a pound of pastrami before your gelato, by all means, do it. The combination would let your mouth experience a perfectly representative contrast of the old Lower East Side and the new Lower East Side.

Another excellent gelato is Italian import Grom, which has started to pop up outside Italy with branches in Japan, Paris, New York, and Malibu. There are three in New York, one on the Upper West Side, one near Columbus Circle, and one in the West Village (on the site of my former favorite pizza joint, RIP.) The Grom stores change their flavors seasonally, and you can’t really go wrong with any of them. Their coffee bar is excellent as well.

Speaking of Italy, what about Eataly? A Torino transplant backed by Batali and Bastianich, Eataly is a temple to all that is Italian food and a wonderful place that you should visit no matter what. Since you’ll be there already, go ahead and get a gelato. They have a pretty stellar gelateria, actually, which you might guess, when you see how long the line is. (As for me, the cured meat counter is the biggest draw, but that’s another story.) For some reason, they brag a lot about how their milk comes from Rochester, but don’t let that dissuade you. Sometimes they sell out of flavors, so if you’re picky, an ice cream brunch might be in the cards for you.

On the other end of the spectrum, just across the Brooklyn Bridge is the charming Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory, in Fulton Ferry Park. The setting can’t be beat–you get a great view of lower Manhattan while you enjoy your ice cream. This ice cream can only be described as “old-fashioned”–there are only eight flavors, and none of them are weird, and all of them are delicious. The wet walnuts are a personal favorite, even though “wet walnuts” just means walnuts and maple syrup.

Of course, I still have a soft spot for the original Mr. Softee trucks, and when I find one I have a hard time resisting a vanilla cone with colored jimmies. It’s like eating a piece of childhood. In summertime, they’re easy to find–just listen for that familiar jingle.

Clearly, I have to plan a trip back to try the next tier of ice cream in New York–I’ve barely touched the outer boroughs, and I know there are some good ones lurking there. Somehow we never made it to L’Arte del Gelato, nor did we try the famous frozen custard from Shake Shack,so those are both on the list for next time as well. Any suggestions for further exploration are, of course, most welcome.

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I was a bit surprised when I started to codify this information, because it shows that I’ve been around the world and I-yi-yi, I can’t find no steak-y. Almost 100% of my favorite steaks are right here in the U.S. of A! I’m glad we still kick a$$ at something. USA! USA!

Oh and after you read this list, PLEASE tell me your favorite steaks so I can try them before I die.

A List of Steaks I Have Loved

Best Steak Overall (East Coast) :: Ribeye for 2, 3, or 4 at Peter Luger in Brooklyn NY

Best Steak Overall (West Coast) :: Anything in the wagyu section of the menu at CraftSteak in Las Vegas, NV

Best Steak Tartare :: Blue Ribbon Bakery in New York, NY (tip: ask for toast points instead of chips)

Best Dish with Steak in it :: Steak Stroganoff at Spork in San Francisco, CA

Best Multi-Course Steak Menu :: Set menu at Solociccia in Panzano, Italy

Best Place to Have Fun Cooking and Eating a Steak :: Turf Supper Club in San Diego, CA

Best Crazy Presentation of Steak :: Sometime during the tasting menu at Alinea in Chicago, IL

Best Steak for Melting in your Mouth :: Medallions de Boeuf at French Laundry in Yountville, CA

Best Steak Sandwich :: Korean Steak Sandwich at Rhea’s Deli in San Francisco, CA

Best Steak, Mexican Format :: Carne Asada at Super Cuca’s, Santa Barbara, CA

Best Steak, Italian Format :: Hanger Steak Tagliata at Al Di La in Brooklyn, NY

Best Steak, Japanese Format :: “Hot Rock” Wagyu Steak at Uchi in Austin, TX

Best Steak, Korean Format :: Bulgogi at Do Hwa in New York, NY

Best Steak from a Chain Restaurant :: Outback Special from Outback Steakhouse, everywhere

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This recent trip was my first time in Maui, and the first thing that became clear is that Maui is for locavores. Other than fish, which I assumed would be local, I didn’t imagine the island being so prolific with the livestock and vegetables, but Maui is great in that respect. Grass-fed beef cattle and chickens are raised “up-country” along with asparagus, Maui onions, avocadoes, sweet corn, and much more. They even have a goat cheese dairy on Maui, the cheese of which is featured on many menus. Let me assure you that the local products not only have the feel-good factor of being locally and sustainably produced, they have that all important taste-good factor as well. It goes without saying that the fish you get on Maui is fresh and delicious no matter what.

We were staying at the Ritz-Carlton in Kapalua, so most of the places we ate were in that area (west Maui). The Ritz-Carlton is an amazing property which we normally wouldn’t have splurged for, but we got a really good deal as part of an Orbitz package. (I mean a really good deal… the recession is hurting tourism, for sure.) If you can get a good deal there, I highly recommend it.

After a delayed flight, a traffic jam, and a much longer drive to Kapalua than expected… I was starving and cranky. Enter my savior.

Oh wait. Not that savior. (Although it’s comforting to know he’s “coming soon”- like the next summer blockbuster!) This one: ahi poke from The Fish Market.

The Fish Market is in an unassuming strip mall just northwest of Lahaina, on Lower Honoapallini Road. Their ahi poke is excellent- tell them how spicy you want it, and they’ll grab some fresh raw ahi cubes, Maui sweet onion slices, and scallions, then doctor up the mixture with soy sauce and sriracha. I could eat it every morning for breakfast. Did I say “could”? I meant “did”. It’s a small styrofoam cup of heaven. In my starving cranky state, it was one of the best things I had ever eaten. Revisiting in a non-cranky, non-starving, relaxed I’m-on-vacation-in-Hawaii state did not change my view.

Of course, you can’t just keep eating the same poke when you know there are so many pokes out there for you to try. A great place to experiment is Lahaina Farms, which is a Whole Foods-esque Hawaiian grocery store in Lahaina Town (in another strip mall, natch.) Lahaina Farms has a poke counter with 8 different pokes, and the guy will let you, nay, he will encourage you, to try a taste of each and every one before deciding. All of the pokes were fresh and delicious, and the mango black pepper was a standout.

My birthday occurred while we were there, and not being the type to leave things to chance, I had made myself a sunset hour birthday reservation at Merriman’s (great thing about the internet: you can look up the time of sunset in any location in the world, and plan your romantic dinner accordingly.) This was an outstanding meal and one I will definitely repeat on my next trip. Every ingredient on the menu was from Maui- barring a few cases where a few things were from other Hawaiian islands. The service could not have been better, and the food was absolutely delicious. I would highly recommend it. The view wasn’t too shabby either…

Of the sushi places we tried, we liked 2 the best: Kai in the Ritz-Carlton, and Sansei in the same area. Sansei was majorly talked up because it’s good, and because they have some half price thing late at night or at 5 PM, yada yada yada, but I gotta be honest with you- vacation is not the time for worrying about half price or eating dinner at 5. Vacation is for being awesome and doing whatever you feel like. I will say that I think Kai had better quality sushi, but Sansei was more fun. One thing Sansei had was a kick-a$$ Mai Tai- one of the best I’ve ever had. So I would recommend taking a seat at the bar and getting some Mai Tais and their best-known roll, the panko-crusted ahi roll. It’s the best-known for a reason. It’s hella good. Kai is in a beautiful setting above the ocean, and the fish was absolutely fresh and so tasty, especially the sake sashimi. They also had some interesting appetizers, like a scrumptious short rib gyoza.

One day we were really jetlagged and woke up around 5:30 AM. We took a harrowing coastal drive on a 1-lane road to the town of Wailuku for hot malasadas (Portuguese donuts) and coffee from Home Maid Bakery. They only have hot ones between 5-10 AM and 4-10 PM, and you’re definitely gonna want hot ones.

On our last day, we drove through upcountry on the way to the Haleakala Volcano National Park.We passed through several different landscapes on the way up the mountain, with stunning views of Maui all the way up. It was a gorgeous drive but very curvy- luckily we don’t get carsick!

After all the raw fish, we were craving something a little different. We found it in Makawao, a sweet little cowboy town with several art galleries and glassblowers along the main strip. At first blush, we weren’t too sure about the banging screen door and mismatched furniture at Pizza Fresh, but one bite of the pizza and our worries melted away. The owner uses only the freshest ingredients, locally grown when possible, and the crust was perfectly doughy and crispy. It was just what we needed to fuel our hike on martian landscapes of the volcano.

Our last stop before heading to the airport for a red-eye was Mama’s Fish House in Paia, a cute hippie-ish town near the Kahului airport. Mama’s was heartily recommended by a whole bunch of people we know, and not similar people either- folks who have very different ideas about what makes a good dining experience. It’s a little tricky to find, and it’s pretty pricey, but it’s a neat experience. My favorite thing about Mama’s was that for each fish dish listed on the menu, they literally call out the fisherman by name and note where exactly the fish was caught (e.g. “line-caught by John Smith off the Taka Atoll”). I have never seen that on a menu, and I like it!

It happened to be Mother’s Day and an elegantly dressed older woman came by each table to check in- it was Mama herself. This place is so popular and with such a well-defined (read: crazy Tiki Hawaiian) style that I have no doubt Mama has been approached many times about franchising the business. She hasn’t done it, there is only one Mama’s. It’s the real deal.

We enjoyed one last technicolor sunset from the beach at Mama’s before saying Aloha to Maui.

View Maui Eats on Off The (Meat)Hook in a larger map

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American cheese, ham, crusty bread, all pressed in some 1950s machine. Heaven. I think it was only 2 dollars. Swig some cafe con leche along with it, and you’ve got a breakfast of champions. The place ain’t fancy and the people aren’t that nice, but that’s not what you’re after. There will be other tourists there, but plenty of locals too.

La Bombonera is at 259 Calle San Francisco in Old San Juan and open daily from 7:30 AM – 8 PM.

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Their sole purpose is to allow you to bring a little bit of soy sauce with you wherever you go, just in case. They come with a little tiny eye-dropper so you can fill them up with soy sauce. So far they have never leaked and they always make me smile when I pull them out at lunchtime! Something about those vacant, beady eyes and perky ears- they are really endearing little pals to have around.

Eliza got these for a couple bucks at one of my very favorite stores in the world, Daiso Japan. Daiso is kind of like a super cool Japanese Dollar Store, except most things cost two dollars instead of one. Daiso has a crazy cross-section of stuff, from garden supplies to kids’ toys to dishes to cards (many in hilarious Engrish) to fake flowers to, er, individual soy sauce holders. With ten bucks in hand, you can have a GREAT time in there.

There are 3 stores in the Seattle area and 6 in the Bay Area- here’s a list of all U.S. locations.

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And this one, which due to the old-timey script, I first read as “Having laid down the f-word with honor…” but it’s sword. Not fword. Heh.

Yeah, I know. I’m immature. What can I say.

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Visit the Homestead Resort site for more info.

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