Think I’m talking about pancakes? Think again. I’m talking about one of the best and easiest sweet treats I’ve come across in a long time: the flapjack. It’s a tantalizing triangle o’ tasty.

I received an issue of Bon Appetit in the mail the other day. I have no idea why since I don’t subscribe to it or any other food magazines because if I did, then what would I read at my Mom’s house? I thank the magazine gods because in this particular issue Molly from Orangette wrote a story about British flapjacks and included a recipe. I give it four thumbs up: 2 for the story and 2 for the recipe.

To quote the article: “…about two chews in, the flavor came: deep and hearty, the way good oatmeal can be . . . You take a bite, and it tastes good, if a little wholesome. But you keep chewing, and in a second or two, the flavor opens up threefold, big and toasty and rich, and your salivary glands start going, and you think, This is delicious. I don’t know what this thing is, but I’m going to need another.” Amen, sister. That is so not hyperbole, either. It’s a great description of the experience.

Next time I’m going to adulterate them with dried cherries or chopped dates or coconut or nuts or all of the above.

Here’s the recipe.

It’s probably not technically accurate to call this tasty soybean dip “hummus” but you should think of it as a descriptive, evocative name, not a culturally accurate one. (I’m not alone in this – for example, they’re pretty conflicted about this, among other aspects of edamame hummus, over at The Delicious Life. But no matter what you want to call it, it turns out if you give soybeans a somewhat hummus-like treatment, you get a whole lotta tasty. Here’s my take on the meme.

I added mint leaves and various sesame products, because I thought it was too boring without. Some people think you should remove the thin outer covering from the soybeans before pureeing them. Those people a) care more about the smoothness of their dips than me, and b) are not as lazy as me. If that describes you, knock yourself out. But I would say it’s highly unnecessary and I like texture in my dip anyway. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Edamame Hummus

Ingredients:

• 1 small clove garlic
• 2 cups cooked, shelled soybeans
• 1/4 cup loosely packed mint leaves
• juice of 2 lemons
• 2 Tblsp sesame tahini
• 1 Tblsp sesame oil plus more for garnish
• salt to taste

Method:

• Put garlic in food processor and pulse to chop finely. Add soybeans, mint, 1/2 tsp salt, and  lemon juice and puree to roughly chop the soybeans.
• Add tahini, 1 Tblsp sesame oil, and 1/2 cup water and continue to puree until it reaches desired consistency. You might need to add more water. Taste and add salt if necessary.
• Remove to bowl. Make a well with a spoon and garnish with a small amount of sesame oil (not too much as it can be overwhelming.) Serve with pita or pita chips.

What is TotMac, you ask? Why it’s homemade Mac N Cheese topped with Tater Tots, of course. Behold: TotMac!

I cannot tell a lie: I did not come up with this concept. There’s a great little neighborhood restaurant here in SF called Q and they are known for topping their Mac with Tots. HOWEVER. While I have enjoyed Q’s Mac on several occasions, I have always felt that the Mac execution could be improved upon. Ergo, I Totted my own Mac, with diabolically delicious results.

So, here’s how it goes down: make some hella good homemade Mac N Cheese. You can really make it however you like it, as long as you PROMISE to make it hella good. Cook frozen tater tots according to their packaging. Cook your Mac N Cheese for 10 minutes less than you normally would. Cover top of hot Mac with hot Tots and cook for about 10 minutes. If you’re CRAZY LIKE ME which is to say LIKE A FOX  you can put crumbled crispy prosciutto or bacon on top of the Mac, but under the Tots.

So Tot your Mac today: it’s highly recommended for those who fancy the idea of double carbing your carbs while white trashing up your fancy Mac N Cheese!

My friend Lori raved about a french toast panini she had at a restaurant in the Hamptons,  called the Elvis. She described it as “2 slices of french toast peanut butter and bananas inside, smooshed together in a panini press.” I was sold on the idea and offered to try and recreate it, with a few twists of course.

This is a pretty heavy dish, obviously- sweet and filling. It’s definitely more of a Sunday brunch than a 7 AM weekday kind of thing. Mostly because you’ll go into a food coma after eating it and might need to lie down.

While I thought it sounded good as is, I has a vision that using cinnamon bread for the french toast would kick it into the next level. It’s best to use thin slices of the cinnamon bread for the best ratio of bread to filling. The sweetness begged for a salinated cured pork product so I served it with salty, thick-cut bacon. Elvis may have left the building, but he left behind some damn fine French toast.

French Toast a la Elvis

serves 6.

Ingredients:

• 6 eggs
• 1/2 cup milk (can use some or all buttermilk if desired)
• pinch salt
• 1 loaf cinnamon swirl bread, sliced into 12 pieces
• crunchy peanut butter to taste, about 10 tablespoons total
• 3 bananas, sliced in rounds about 1/8 inch thick
• butter and non-stick spray for cooking

Method:

• Whisk eggs and milk together.
• Heat large non-stick skillet over medium heat. Add about 1 tsp butter.
• Dip bread in egg mixture and cook on both sides until lightly browned. Repeat until all bread has been cooked. You will have to add more butter for each batch.
• Lay french toast on a tray. Spread about 1 Tblsp peanut butter on each piece of bread. Lay 1/2 banana’s worth of rounds on top of 1/2 the french toast and sandwich with a peanut buttered one.
• Heat a panini press and spray with nonstick spray. Cook sandwiches until browned and peanut butter is a little melty.*
• Serve immediately with salty bacon.

* If you don’t have a panini press, you can make these sandwiches and then put them, assembled, in a non stick pan. Weigh them down with something heavy so they get smooshed and browned.

When I was but a youthful lass of 22, I worked at the fabulous Extraordinary Desserts in San Diego for about a year. If you’re ever in San Diego, I highly recommend stopping there for one of their scones (the best I’ve ever tasted, to be sure) or to dazzle your friends with one of their heart-stoppingly gorgeous cakes. I learned a lot there, but probably the most important thing I learned was that the way to a good bread pudding is simple: make creme brulee mixture and don’t use regular bread. This opens up a realm of delicious and easily adaptable flavor possibilities and combinations that are blissfully simple to make, as well as very forgiving.

For this occasion, I bought a soft loaf of Semifreddi’s cinnamon twist bread and made an orange zest-infused vanilla brulee mix, then dotted it all with dark chocolate chunks. It took about 5 minutes to put together and tasted like a million bucks. With a scoop of Bi-Rite Creamery’s salted caramel ice cream, it was almost transcendent.

Orange-Cinnamon Bread Pudding with Chocolate Chunks

serves 4-6

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 cups heavy cream
• zest from 1/2 orange
• 3 egg yolks
• 3 T sugar
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1/2 loaf cinnamon bread (1-2 days stale is better than fresh but it will work either way)
• large handful semi-sweet or dark chocolate chunks (can use chocolate chips)

Method:

• Preheat oven to 250.
• Heat cream in saucepan until hot but not bubbling. Turn off heat and add zest. Set aside.
• If bread is a few days old and a bit stale and hard, just use it as is. If it’s fresh soft bread, toast in a 350 degree oven or toaster to dry out a bit before using. Cut bread into 1 inch cubes.
• Whisk yolks, sugar, and vanilla into cream until fully incorporated.
• In a loaf pan or half-size casserole pan, arrange half the bread in the bottom and pour half the cream mixture over. Sprinkle with half the chocolate. Repeat with remaining bread, cream, and chocolate. Press mixture down with the back of a large spoon or your hands, so it’s tightly packed in and all bread is moistened.
• Bake at 250 for about 20-30 minutes, until custard is set but wobbly. Serve warm with ice cream.

Here in San Francisco we’re enjoying the delicious days of Indian summer- after being shrouded in fog through July and August, our warm September days come and shower us with summer sun. As such, it’s time to use up the last of the summer produce and highlight it a few more times, before saying goodbye until next summer.

You might be wondering why this salad is Buddha-Approved. My friend Linsey was visiting from New York, and we were cooking together. She was explaining that in essence, the Buddha’s diet advice was to eat things that were all different colors for the best nutrition and health. I have no idea if that’s true, but it sounds good and makes sense. Ergo she and I chose vegetablesof all different colors for our salad, including these pretty dark purple wax beans.

They lost some of their color in the cooking process but I think Buddha would still approve.

Buddha-Approved End of Summer Salad

Serves 4 as an appetizer. You don’t really have to measure the vegetables- feel free to eyeball, adjust, and play as much as you like.

Ingredients:

• 1/2 lb purple wax beans (green or yellow is OK if you can’t find purple)
• 1 cob white corn
• 3 cups arugula
• 1 cup mixed color heirloom cherry tomatoes, chopped in half
• 1 1/2 tsp dijon or grainy mustard
• 1/4 cup hazelnut or walnut oil
• 2 T white wine vinegar
• 1 tsp finely chopped marjoram
• 2 T finely chopped shallots
• juice of 1 lemon
• salt and pepper to taste
• olive oil for sauteing

Method:

• Trim the beans and chop into 1 inch pieces. Cut corn off cob.
• Saute beans and corn briefly in a small amount of olive oil and a sprinkle of salt, just to tenderize. Remove from heat and set aside.
• Combine mustard, oil, vinegar, marjoram, shallots, lemon juice, and salt and pepper until thoroughly mixed. (I like to do this in a jar so it’s easy to mix by shaking the jar.) Taste and adjust seasoning as necessary.
• Toss arugula, corn, beans, and tomatoes in serving bowl with dressing. Serve immediately.

A couple months back I posted about a condiment competition between me and my Dad. At the time, I made a black mustard, which I called Moutarde Le Bête Noire (”Black Beast Mustard”), and it was extremely pungent and spicy.

It turns out if you mellow this mustard in the fridge for about a week, it’s absolutely fantastic. Although it didn’t win the competition at the time, it’s now a family favorite. One of our newly learned tricks is to quickly saute green beans or asparagus and toss with this mustard before serving. It’s mellow, rich, and complex, and adored by mustard aficionados and skeptics alike.

You’ll need black garlic to get the full complement of layered flavor here- otherwise it will lack the depth. If you’re not familiar with black garlic, there’s more info in this post.

Moutarde Le Bête Noire

Makes 5-6 cups mustard.

Ingredients:

• 2 cups cabernet sauvignon
• 2 cups red wine vinegar
• 12 cloves black garlic, smashed
• 2 cups brown or black mustard seeds
• 2/3 cup yellow mustard seeds
• 15 black peppercorns
• 1 tsp salt
• 3 whole allspice
• 2 tsp molasses
• 2 T brown sugar

Method:

• Combine all ingredients and let sit for 24 hours at room temperature, loosely covered.
• Pour into food processor or blender and pulse until desired consistency.
• Put into jars and store in fridge for 5-7 days to mellow.
• If you plan to give all the mustard away and have it eaten within a couple of months, it will keep in the fridge. If you want to save it for the future, I recommend pressure canning it in jars.

My mom has been making a version of this pie since I was a kid. If you’ve got really great peaches, this is a terrific way to highlight them without cooking them all to hell as in a normal 2-crust pie. Plus, it’s easy and quick as can be.

Essentially it’s just one crust with raw, unadulterated peaches covered in a layer of sweet sticky peach glaze. I’ve kicked up Mom’s old recipe with a vanilla bean and some fresh lemon juice. We used to go to Brentwood every summer to buy peaches from the farmers, but now my dear ol’ Dad grows lovely ones in his little orchard. If you’ve ever seen a stone fruit tree in bloom you’ll know that you only get a couple of weeks to consume what seems like a gazillion fresh fruits. So if you find yourself with a bushel of great peaches, I highly recommend you try it!

Peach Glaze Pie

Ingredients:

• one baked pie crust
• 4 cups peaches, peeled and sliced
• 1 1/2 cups peaches, peeled and chopped into small pieces
• 1 vanilla bean, split and seeded
• 1 cup sugar
• 3 Tblsp cornstarch
• 1 Tblsp fresh lemon juice
• 1 Tblsp butter
• 1/2 tsp salt

Method:

• Pour sliced peaches into crust.
• In a small saucepan, combine chopped peaches with 3/4 cup water, plus the seeds and pod of the vanilla bean. Bring to boil and boil gently for 4 mintues.
• Whisk together sugar and cornstarch. Add to peaches. Cook, stirring, until thick and glossy.
• Turn off heat and add lemon juice, butter, and salt.
• Remove vanilla pod from glaze and pour hot glaze over peaches. Let set at room temperature for about an hour before serving.

This weekend I did something a little different… a Foodbuzz 24, 24, 24 event I’m calling Family Food Feud: Colossal Condiment Competiton! Read on for details, winners, dark horses, and recipes…

The background:

My Dad is super into making things and canning them for later- pickles, jams, tomatoes, syrups, you name it. Every year I try to add new things to our family’s home-canned repertoire, like lemon curd and onion relish. But in short, this came about because what started out as a father-daughter bonding moment over the idea of making homemade ketchup turned into a full-on condiment CHALLENGE! Suddenly it was a competition. We were one-upping each other with over-confident bluster about our innovative and sure-to-be tasty imagined flavor combinations. It was all out of control. And it was ON like DONKEY KONG.

This was to be a serious smackdown between me and my Dad. Having a relatively tactless group of friends and brutally honest  family members, we knew no one would play favorites with the judging. The results would stand. Thanks to Foodbuzz, who agreed to sponsor this familial food fight by featuring it in their 24, 24, 24 for July, our competition came to fruition.

The ingredients:

We ordered yellow and black mustard seeds and mustard powder from Penzeys. We used fruits and vegetables from my parents’ garden in Santa Rosa, and the wine we grow and produce on their land, whenever possible. Supplemental ingredients were purchased from the Santa Rosa and Alemany Farmers Markets.

The judging:

The judging was done by friends and family members who happened to be around. It was extremely unscientific and some participants may have had a lot of wine during and prior to the judging, which probably just made them even more honest. They ate the condiments on crackers, pretzels, pork loin, and whatever else was on the table, and discussed the pros and cons of each condiment until they came to roughly unanimous decisions.

The resources:

While all the recipes were strictly created for this competition, we turned to the trusty internets for guidance. Some pages that proved helpful (and some with pretty pictures) were these from A Pinch Of, Macheesmo, Kiss My Spatula, YumSugar, and Cake and Commerce. Thanks, Internets!

The miscellany:

We had the competition at my parents’ house in the Sonoma Wine Country. We did some preparation in advance (eg the soaking of the mustard seeds) and the bulk of the cooking and preparation over about 4-5 hours on Saturday.

We made vastly different amounts because we were inventing recipes. We canned the excess by storing it in sterilized jars and using a pressure canner after all of the judging was done. (For more info on safely canning food with a pressure canner, read this.)

>>>>>NOW ON TO THE EXCITING PART!!<<<<<

The entries:

We each agreed to make 2 mustards and 1 ketchup. I made a third bonus mustard because I felt like it, dammit! Here are the entries:

My entries in the top row. From left to right: Orange-Vanilla Bean Mustard; Moutarde Le Bête Noire, Margarita Mostaza, Kick-Ass Ketchup

Dad’s entries in the bottom row. From left to right: Molto Bene Mustard; Smoky Ketchup; Peach Moscato Mustard

The mustards:

For my mustards, I went with 3 very disparate styles. The first, orange-vanilla bean, was a smooth mustard made from mustard powder, honey, orange juice and zest, with seeds from a whole vanilla bean. It had a wonderful sweet and spicy balance but was waaaay too runny. It also sort of started discoloring in a highly unappealing fashion. The second, Le Bête Noire, was one of my favorites but not particularly well-loved by, well, anyone else. I used black mustard seeds, aged black garlic, molasses, and pinot noir for earthy notes and a rich dark brown color, but at the end of the day it was deemed to be a little boring. My third entry was Margarita Mostaza which utilized components of a margarita- I soaked yellow seeds in reposado tequila and combined them with honey, lemon, lime, chiles, and salt.

My Dad made 2 mustards, both of which were more complex in preparation than mine. For the Molto Bene mustard, he started by making a whole grain mustard, then incorporated sun-dried tomatoes and dried ground prosciutto (!). His Peach Moscato mustard was made in the style of a hollandaise, with egg yolks whisked in over a double boiler. It used sweet Moscato wine and a puree of dried peaches, using fresh peaches in his orchard that he dried in a food dehydrator.

WINNER: Peach Moscato Mustard

My Dad put a lot of thought and effort into this mustard and it was worth it. The Peach Moscato mustard was smooth and perfectly creamy, and could just as easily serve as a dip for a nugget or a spread on the most upscale of sandwiches. The peach notes were pronounced without being overwhelming and the sweet/spicy balance was pleasing to all.

RUNNER UP: tie between Margarita Mostaza and Molto Bene

While no one is totally sure what food to put the Margarita mustard on, everyone liked it. It REALLY tasted like a margarita, and soaking the seeds in tequila and adding a serrano chile gave it additional layers of heat. The Molto Bene mustard benefited heavily from the fact that it has salty prosciutto and oily dried tomatoes permeating it, giving it a richness and round Italian essence that would taste great on a sausage. Who but my Dad would think of making a meat mustard though?!?!

The ketchups:

We each made 1 ketchup. Dad made Smoky Ketchup, for which he grilled all of the vegetables on the BBQ before combining and cooking them down into a slightly chunky mixture. I made the Kick-Ass Ketchup, and opted for a slightly more traditional approach, punched up with sundried tomatoes and chipotle. I strained it through a chinois for a smoother texture.

WINNER: Kick-Ass Ketchup

Between you and me I thought my Dad’s concept was terrific and that his would win, but it turned out his ketchup was not as positively enhanced by all of the grilling as one might have expected, and tasted a little too much like BBQ sauce. It was also a bit too sweet. On the other hand, the Kick-Ass Ketchup had just the right amount of spice, sweetness, acidity, and brightness to make it interesting and balanced without having any one flavor dominate.

The conclusion:

Making your own condiments is fun because there are so many possible flavor combinations for you to experiment with! Even our least favorite entries tasted a heckuva lot better than anything you can buy in a store. Making your own fancy mustards, especially, is totally worth is from a cost-benefit perspective. A whole pound of mustard seeds from Penzeys, which would make enough mustard to last quite some time, cost about the same as a little bottle of whole-grain mustard ($4.60.)

One thing that is important to note is that on the first day, homemade mustard is extra spicy. It will mellow with age and taste a lot milder after 2-3 days in the fridge.

The ketchup requires more raw ingredients to yield a much smaller volume, but the taste difference has me convinced that I will probably continue making it from here on out. It’s also a lot better for you than store-bought ketchup, which is full of corn syrup and chemicals.

The recipes:

You didn’t really think I would tell you all about this and show tantalizing photos then not provide recipes, did you? I’ve included the winning ketchup and mustard recipes, as well as the 2 runner-up mustards. Enjoy!

Karen’s Kick-Ass Ketchup

makes about 3 cups ketchup.

Ingredients:

• 1 onion, roughly chopped
• 1 shallot, roughly chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, peeled and smashed
• 1 chipotle (I used canned chioptles, and rinsed the sauce off)
• 3 lbs fresh tomatoes, roughly chopped (skin and seeds are ok)
• 1 Tblsp salt
• 1/3 cup turbinado (raw) sugar
• 1 cup sundried tomatoes in oil, drained
• 1/2 tsp celery seeds
• 1/2 tsp allspice
• 2/3 cup red wine vinegar
• 1/4 cup white wine vinegar
• 1 Tblsp brown sugar

Method:

• In large nonstick saucepan, combine all ingredients except white wine vinegar and brown sugar. Cook over medium low heat about 45 minutes, stirring frequently.
• Puree in blender or food processor until smooth. Strain through a fine strainer.***
• Rinse pot and return strained mixture to pot. Add white wine vinegar and brown sugar. Taste and add salt if necessary.
• Cook over very low heat another 30-50 minutes, stirring frequently and making sure ketchup is not sticking to sides and bottom.
• Remove from heat and cool. Store in jars or tupperware.
• ***I like to save the stuff that’s left in the strainer and toss it with pasta for a quick, flavorful meal!

Mike’s Peach Moscato Mustard

makes about 2 cups mustard.

Ingredients:

• 3/4 cups dried peaches
• 1/2 bottle sweet moscato wine
• 1 1/4 cup mustard powder
• 1/2 cup white wine vinegar
• 2 Tblsp powdered sugar
• 1 tsp turmeric
• 6 fresh egg yolks
• salt to taste

Method:

• Put dried peaches in a blender or food processor with a splash of moscato. Puree until smooth.
• Pour peach puree, remaining moscato, mustard powder, vinegar, sugar, and turmeric into the top of a double boiler (or a metal bowl suspended over a pot of water) with a little salt, and mix with a whisk. The water in the bottom of the double boiler should not be touching the upper part and should just be brought to a simmer.
• Add yolks and whisk over double boiler until mustard thickens. Taste and add more salt or sugar as needed.
• Strain through a chinois, cheesecloth, or fine strainer.

Karenita’s Margarita Mostaza

makes about 2 cups mustard.

Ingredients:

• 1 dried serrano chile, roughly chopped, about half the seeds removed
• 1 cup good quality reposado tequila
• 2/3 cup rice vinegar
• 1 cup yellow mustard seeds
• 1/4 cup black mustard seeds
• 1/3 cup mustard powder
• 1/4 cup lemon juice
• 1/2 cup honey
• zest and juice of 1 large or 2 small limes
• 2 tsp salt

Method:

• Combine everything except lime zest, lime juice, and salt in a bowl. Let sit overnight, loosely covered.
• Pour into food processor or blender. Add lime and salt. Process until mustard reaches desired graininess.
• Store in the fridge in a jar with a lid or a tupperware container.

Mike’s Molto Bene Mustard

makes about 3 cups mustard.

Ingredients:

• 3 oz. prosciutto
• 1 cup yellow mustard seeds
• 3/4 cup brown mustard seeds
• 1 1/4 cup sauvignon blanc
• 1 1/4 cup white wine vinegar
• 1/4 cup sundried tomatoes in oil
• 1 1/2 tsp. brown sugar

Method:

• Combine mustard seeds, wine, and vinegar in a container and soak overnight.
• Heat oven to 300 degrees. Lay prosciutto in a single sheet. Cook until dry and crispy, about 45 minutes, checking often so it doesn’t burn. Let cool.
• In food processor or blender, puree cooled dried prosciutto and sundried tomatoes with a little of the oil from the tomatoes. Add mustard mixture and remaining ingredients and puree until desired consistency. If too thick add a little more wine or tomato oil.

I’m not talking about dates like going out to the movies here, I’m talking about DATES! Like, the fruit.

This is a really simple way to make a tasty treat. It’s not really ice cream (ergo the quotes), it just sort of tastes like ice cream with almost no work. I like to use Barhi (sometimes spelled Barhee) dates because they are oh-so-creamy and lend themselves perfectly to this technique. I get them from the date vendor at the Alemany Farmers’ Market in San Francisco. He has a bunch of different kinds of dates that are fantastic and cheap and he will let you taste them all! If you’re not in the Bay Area, you can order Barhi dates online from Oasis Date Gardens pretty cheaply.

To make “ice cream” dates, all you have to do is lay the dates out on a sheet of foil or parchment, not touching one another. Freeze until solid-ish (they may not get totally frozen solid because of the high sugar content.) Once frozen, remove to a ziploc bag and store in the freezer. Whenever you need a burst sweet creamy goodness, grab one out of the freezer!

You could also use these in smoothies or shakes… in that case, pit them before freezing. Happy dating!