I find it funny that there are so many recipes for brittle that say things like “3/4 cup sugar, 1/4 cup water, 1/2 cup nuts” and so forth. First of all, the water measurement is totally pointless, because to get sugar to caramelize into brittle, all the water has to boil off first. So let’s say you start with 1/4 cup of sugar and 1/2 cup water. That will make brittle after the water all boils off and the sugar can caramelize. Now let’s say you start with 1/4 cup of sugar and 19 cups of water. That will STILL make brittle, eventually, after several hours when all the water boils off. For you see, the sugar can’t caramelize until ALL THE WATER BOILS OFF. This is science!

The second thing is that you do not need a candy thermometer as many recipes call for. You know why? Because you have EYES. When the sugar makes its magical metamorphosis into brittledom it TURNS BROWN. If you use a thermometer to make brittle you are either a masochist or you can’t tell when something clear turns brown. If the second thing describes you then make it with a friend who can visually discriminate between different colors better than you, and problem solved.

So here is what you need for brittle. You need some sugar. How much, ish? Well I don’t know, how much brittle do you want? I usually throw around a cup in a heavy pot. But I certainly don’t measure it. Add some water. If you add 19 cups of water you will wait a very long time so just add a bit of water so the sugar is like really wet sand. It’s OK if it’s not really really wet or if it is really really wet because it is all going to go away. Turn on the flame on medium high and don’t stir it. Wait for science to occur. We will get back to that in a minute.

Meanwhile, once it’s over heat, you have a few other tasks to take care of. Don’t worry, because the magic of caramelization takes awhile–like 10 minutes or more. Start by getting out a piece of parchment paper and putting it on a flat pan. Set it aside. If the pan is wonky find a different pan because wonky will make brittle that’s thicker in parts and thinner in parts. Of course if that happens you should pretend you did that on purpose.

Now you need to dig around in your freezer and around your kitchen to figure out what you’re going to put in the brittle. Usually nuts are the first thought. But that’s probably because I have a lot of different kinds of nuts in my freezer. You can do citrus zest, candied fruit or candied ginger chopped up, coconut, and the like. It’s good to do a mixture. It almost never turns out poorly no matter what you put in it, unless you put fresh things in like raspberries or raw hamburger meat. So don’t put fresh things in. The hot sugar will make them gross. Also hamburger in brittle is gross. Why are you putting that in? You are not using common sense.

How much of these non-fresh mixed things should you put in? I’m going to go with “a handful.” Should you chop them? I don’t know, how big are they? How lazy are you? These are the questions you can ask yourself to make these decisions. Usually I chop larger nuts into smallish but not tiny pieces. But you can also just roll over them with a rolling pin or leave them big. Again, whatever you do, you must pretend that’s what you meant to do and not just something you did out of laziness.

OK! Now your sugar and water is bubbling away on the stove and you have a pile of chopped or non-chopped nuts and maybe something else. You need to check in on the sugar every once in awhile because when the water boils off and the temperature rises, the magic science will happen. The sugar will start to get a little yellow. At this point you should throw in your nuts and stir them with a wooden spoon or silicone spatula but only enough to mix them in and not more. You will want to stir it and mess with it more but you should not do any of those things. This is because of a different kind of science called crystallization. If you agitate the sugar too much it will start to form crystals, and then your brittle will be cloudy and your friends will shun your crappy unprofessional brittle and you will probably lose your job and have to become homeless. All because of SCIENCE. So you see, science can work for or against you. It can also ruin your life.

But I digress! You have carefully stirred in your accoutrements and the sugar is still darkening. Wait until it gets to be a pretty dark amber brown color. It will look darker in the pot than it actually is. Remember, you are not stirring it. You are perhaps swirling it a tad. That should be OK. Turn it off and carefully pour it onto the parchment. Grab the sides of the pan and move it all around to distribute the brittle. Wait until it gets hard. That will happen pretty fast. Break it into shards. Bask in the glory.

I need to mention that there is another kind of science that can work against you in this process which is called BURNING. Did you know the scientific term for “burning” is “burning”? I thought there would be a cooler, science-ier word for it but Google says no. Google also says that “science-ier” is not a word but I don’t care what they say. Anyway, caramelized sugar is really hot. How hot? I don’t know, because I already mentioned that I’m not using a thermometer, but I will say it is hella hot. It also sticks to you so it’s hard to get off your skin quickly and it latches on the continue burning you. So be careful.

That was a very long description for something that I said was easy to make. The how-to, in sum, for those who dislike incessant rambling:

• Prepare a piece of parchment on a flat pan.
• Put some sugar and a bit of water in a pot over medium high heat.
• When it turns brown turn off the heat and add nuts and other stuff.
• Pour it onto a parchment and move the pan to distribute it.
• Wait until it hardens and crack it up.
• Be careful the whole time because it’s hotter than you think.

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It’s a pretty easy recipe- I do the noodles and the broccoli in the same pot, and the sauce is just a food processor thing, so you can make this from start to finish in under 20 minutes. Of course, any vegetables of your liking will work. It’s a good dish to make for vegetarian company. Actually, I totally just realized this is VEGAN. I can’t believe I like something vegan! I think I just saw a pig fly. A delicious, delectable little pig. Mmmmm. Bacon.

Nutty Thai Noodle Salad
serves 3-4

Ingredients:

• 1 clove garlic, peeled
• 3 inch piece of ginger, peeled
• 1/4 cup peanut butter
• 1/4 cup almond butter (or just use more peanut butter)
• 1/4 cup hot water
• 1/4 cup soy sauce
• 1 Tblsp sesame oil
• 2 Tblsp white wine vinegar
• 2 Tblsp honey
• 2 tsp dijon mustard (smooth, not grainy)
• 1 bunch broccoli or baby broccoli, trimmed and chopped
• 1 large or 2 small red bell peppers, seeded and sliced into thin strips
• 1 bunch scallions, white and light green parts finely chopped
• 12 oz. buckwheat soba noodles
• red pepper flakes or sriracha to taste
• sesame seeds to taste

Method:

• Put garlic and ginger in a food processor and pulse to chop. Add nut butters, hot water, soy sauce, oil, vinegar, honey and mustard and chop in the food processor until well mixed. Add red pepper flakes or sriracha to taste if desired and pulse again. Set aside.
• Heat a large pot of salted water on the stove. Add the broccoli and cook until tender, about 5 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon, rinse with cool water, drain, and set aside.
• In the same pot of water, add the soba noodles and cook according to package. Drain and rinse with cool water.
• In a bowl, combine noodles, broccoli, scallions, bell peppers, and dressing. Toss everything together to coat evenly. Sprinkle with a small handful of sesame seeds if desired and toss again. Serve immediately.
• This keeps for about a day if you want to eat the leftovers, but after that the noodles start to get a bit broken down.

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The question everyone asks is… how do you get the frosting inside? Once the cupcakes have cooled, you can make the frosting and put it into a large pastry bag with a big star tip. Turn the cupcakes upside down, shove the star tip into their behinds, and squeeze. The cupcake has some air pockets in it, so there is a surprising amount of space for the frosting. You will be able to feel when it’s “full” and the tip will sort of pop out.

Once you’ve filled them all, you can pass over with a knife to clean up any excess icing. To put the glaze on, I take the filled cupcakes and gently swirl them in the warm chocolate glaze. You have to use the glaze at about 100 degrees F or it won’t set properly. Since 100 degrees is just above body temperature, there is an easy way to test for 100F without a thermometer. Dab a little glaze in the indentation that’s just below the middle of your lower lip (a very sensitive part of the body that interprets temperature well.) The glaze should feel just slightly warm but not too hot.

To make the designs on top, just hold out a little of the vanilla frosting in a bowl. Thin it out with milk a bit and put it in a ziploc bag. Cut a small hole and start looping. If you really want it to look right, with the chocolate and the loops melded together, prepare your bag of piping icing before you start the glaze process and do it right away. Then the loosened vanilla frosting will melt into the glaze a bit and look authentic. Since she’s a Laura I made the loop-de-loops more L-like in her honor.

I have also made these with a filling more akin to a whoopie pie filling, which is also a very good way to go, and even more Hostess-like.

Here are the recipes to go with the process described above:

Dark Chocolate Cupcakes

makes 18 cupcakes

Ingredients:

• 1 cup sugar
• 1 3/4 cup cake flour
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 3/4 tsp baking soda
• 5 1/2 Tblsp butter, cut in pieces
• 1/3 cup vegetable oil
• 3/4 cup dark cocoa powder
• 3/4 cup water
• 1 egg
• 1 egg yolk
• 3/4 cup buttermilk

Method:

• Heat oven to 375. Prepare cupcake pans with foil liners and nonstick spray.
• In a large bowl, sift together sugar, flour, salt, and baking soda.
• Over low heat, warm the butter, oil, cocoa powder, and water, until the butter is melted. Whisk until smooth.
• Stir the warm liquids into the dry ingredients and mix with a wooden spoon or spatula to fully combine.
• Add eggs, vanilla, and buttermilk and stir until smooth. You may need to use a whisk to get it completely smooth.
• Fill cupcake liners to 3/4 full. Bake about 15 minutes until center of cupcakes spring back when you touch them. Cool completely before filling.

Vanilla Frosting Filling

The secret to making this frosting light and fluffy is just to beat the hell out of it.

Ingredients:

• 1 stick (1/2 cup) butter, softened
• about 4 cups powdered sugar
• 1/4 cup milk
• 1 tsp vanilla

Method:

• Put butter, 2 cups powdered sugar, milk, and vanilla in the bowl of an electric mixer with the paddle attachment. Beat a few minutes on high, until very creamy.
• Add remaining powdered sugar, 1/2 cup at a time, and continue beating until thick and creamy. Add more powdered sugar as needed to get the desired thickness.
• Keep beating on high for about 5 more minutes and the frosting will be fluffy as a cloud!
• This icing will harden if chilled, so use at room temperature and don’t make it too far in advance of when you’ll be using it.

Chocolate Glaze

Ingredients:

• 1 cup dark chocolate chips or chopped chocolate
• 1 stick (1/2 cup) butter, cut in pieces
• 1 Tblsp corn syrup

Method:

• Heat everything together in a saucepan over very low heat so you don’t burn the chocolate. When the chocolate is about half melted, turn off heat and keep stirring to fully melt.
• Use this at about 100 degrees F or it won’t set properly. Since 100 degrees is just above body temperature, there is an easy way to test for 100F without a thermometer. Dab a little glaze in the indentation that’s just below the middle of your lower lip (a very sensitive part of the body that interprets temperature well.) The glaze should feel just slightly warm but not too hot.

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Heirloom Tomato & Nectarine Panzanella

serves 4

Ingredients:

• 2 medium-sized heirloom tomatoes
• 1 nectarine
• 1 1/2 cups baby spinach leaves
• about 3 cups of bread cubes, cut from a crusty loaf
• olive oil
• white wine vinegar
• salt and pepper
• shaved or crumbled cheese of your choice (parmigiano, pecorino, feta, goat cheese, etc.)

Method:

• Heat oven to 400. Prepare a sheet pan or cookie sheet with a piece of foil.
• Cut tomatoes and nectarine into 1/4 inch cubes and place into a large bowl with their juices.
• Put the bread cubes in a bowl and drizzle with olive oil (1-2 Tblsp) and white wine vinegar (2-3 tsp). Add a sprinkling of salt and pepper and toss together.
• Spread bread cubes on sheet pan in a single layer. Cook until browned and crisp, about 10-15 minutes, being careful not to burn. Remove from oven.
• Add bread cubes and spinach to tomato/nectarine bowl. Drizzle with a bit more olive oil and vinegar and mix together with your hands or with tongs. Taste and season with salt and pepper. Add more oil or vinegar if necessary.
• Let sit about 5-10 minutes before serving. This salad is best when the bread is half crunchy and half soggy.

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Fettucine with Roasted Corn Cream & Crispy Portobellos

serves 4

Ingredients:

• 2 ears of corn, shucked and cleaned
• 2 Tblsp olive oil, divided
• 3/4 cup heavy cream
• 1 cup chicken or vegetable broth
• 2 portobello mushroom caps, cleaned and chopped into 1/2 inch pieces
• 2 shallots, sliced
• 1/3 cup grated or shaved parmigiano
• 12 oz. fettucine noodles
• salt and pepper
• handful of chopped parsley, for garnish

Method:

• Preheat oven to 400.
• Using a sharp knife, cut the corn kernels off the cob and put them into a roasting pan with 1 Tblsp olive oil and a large pinch of salt and pepper. Place in the oven to roast for about 20 minutes, until corn is cooked and starts to brown, stirring occasionally.
• While corn is roasting, put corn cobs, cream, and broth in a saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Turn off heat and leave to steep cobs in broth and cream.
• Meanwhile, heat remaining 1 Tblsp olive oil in a saute pan. Add portobellos and cook about 5-10 minutes, until crispy. Add shallots and cook another 1-2 minutes, until shallots are softened. Turn off heat.
• Cook pasta according to package directions, drain, and set aside.
• Put about 1/3 of the roasted corn into the portobello and shallot pan and set aside.
• Remove the cobs from the cream and broth mixture and discard. Pour the liquid into a blender with the remaining 2/3 of the roasted corn and most of the parmigiano (reserving a bit for garnish.) Puree until smooth. Taste and add salt and pepper if necessary.
• Mix cooked fettucine, corn cream, and mushroom/shallot/corn mixture together with tongs. Garnish with a bit of parmigiano and serve immediately.

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If you caught up with my favorite Maui eats last week, you’ll have an inkling that I loves me some spicy raw fish. I wanted to re-create some of the excellent ahi poke I had there, which turned out to be super easy and maika’i nui loa.* It’s important that you have really good quality fish for this (duh.) So you should ask for sushi-grade tuna at the counter of your local supermarket. PSYCH! The whole “sushi-grade” thing is total BS, and is not a meaningful or regulated term, you know, like when they call meat “Prime” or say things are “All-Natural,” or that time they spent 10 million bucks trying to re-brand prunes as dried plums so you wouldn’t realize they were prunes. (OK, it’s not really like that last one, but I remember thinking that was incredibly stupid.)

So here is what you actually need to do if you’re going to buy raw fish and eat it: buy it from a reputable person/place, preferably someone who specializes in selling fish and has been doing so for a long time. The closer you are to the guy/gal who caught the fish, the better. Perform a little inspection on the fish (here are good things to look for.) Then, look the person in the eye and tell them you’re planning to eat it raw. Ask them if that’s a good idea. If they say yes, Then go home and eat it right away. For a slightly different take on how to source fish to eat raw, you can see what this guy has to say, but I must warn you that one of his suggestions is to catch it your freakin’ self. Seriously. I have to say that I don’t see myself catching a giant tuna anytime in the near future… but I like his spirited commitment to excellence.

A note: I am not scared of eating raw fish (probably because I’m in denial about a lot of stuff that I don’t want to know about) but if you’re wondering about the risks, feel free to read this and freak yourself out. I’m also not scared of mercury because I don’t eat fish very often.

I am, however, scared of overfishing and ruining our oceans, so I try to choose sustainable seafood. Monterey Bay Aquarium has helpful guides with a green/yellow/red coding system that you can download for your region to help you choose fish wisely. I carry one in my purse so I can use it in the grocery store or when I’m at a restaurant. In this case, troll or pole caught ahi (also known as yellowfin) is something the Monterey Bay Aquarium Seafood Watch calls a “good alternative” and marks it in the yellow category. I try to stick to the green when possible and since I feel incredibly guilty eating off the red list, I don’t really do it anymore.

Oh! One more thing. Sharpen your knife before you cut the fish, or it might turn out all raggedy and nasty. If your knives suck (or if YOU suck- just kidding, if you sucked you wouldn’t be reading this awesome blog!), ask them to cut it into 3/4 inch cubes for you at the place you buy the fish.

Ginger Sesame Ahi Poke

serves 3-4. If you have more or less tuna you can adjust the amounts in the recipe to accommodate how much tuna you’re making.

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 lbs. raw ahi, cut in 3/4 inch cubes
• 6 green onions, white and light green part finely chopped
• 1 large or 2 small shallots, finely chopped
• 2 Tblsp toasted sesame seeds
• 2 inch piece ginger, peeled and finely grated
• 1 Tblsp sesame oil
• 5 Tblsp soy sauce
• Sriracha or other Asian hot sauce to taste

Method:

• Mix everything in a bowl and toss with the tuna. Cover and refrigerate for 1-2 hours before eating.
• Pour on a plate and drizzle with Sriracha or other hot sauce to taste. Serve with extra hot sauce on the side for those who like it spicy.

*According to Google, that’s how you say “great” in Hawaiian. Hawaiians, feel free to chime in on my poor language skills.

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Homemade dressing is the final piece in the perfect salad puzzle. The Smitten Kitchen recipe is my favorite. It’s easy to make and tastes divine, without any of the funky multisyllabic ingredients that store-bought dressing is full of.

Get the recipe here!

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• super easy
• gluten-free
• dairy-free
• eaten up in mere moments
• good for passover, as they are not leavened (I’m not Jewish, but I know how that stuff works)

Lately, you can’t escape food lovers and cooks waxing poetic about the latest baking craze: macarons. I get it. They are oh so lovely to look at. They are small and colorful. They are so de rigeur. But I actually don’t think they taste that great. I think they taste meh. Even the really really really good ones. I’m just not into them. There, I said it. My name is Karen and I don’t think macarons taste that great.

So let me dispel your confusion: this recipe is not for macarons with one o, it is for macaroons with two os. I have always (rightly or wrongly? who knows) thought of the one-o macarons as being a French thing, and the two-o macaroon as being an American thing. Anyone know if that’s true? And two-os are not adorable little sandwiches of prettily colored, perfectly round discs, they are blobs of coconutty goodness.

Maybe it was the one-o vs. two-o inferiority complex, maybe it’s because they looked like albino McDonald’s fry guys, or maybe it’s just because I am frickin’ fancy- but I put gold leaf on them. It was Tuesday. No one expects gold leaf on a Tuesday.

Pillowy Coconut Macaroons

makes 16… unless you make them freakishly small or freakishly large, in which case it will make a different amount

Ingredients:

• 3 egg whites (as with one-o macarons, using old egg whites is acceptable/encouraged)
• large pinch of salt
• 2 Tablespoons sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups sweetened coconut (I use the “angel flake” kind, but maybe it’s just good marketing)

Method:

• Preheat oven to 350. Prepare a baking sheet with a silpat, parchment, or cooking spray.
• Put egg whites and salt in a mixer with a whisk attachment and beat until the whites form very soft peaks.
• Add sugar and continue beating until the whites form stiff peaks.
• Gently fold the vanilla and coconut (the vanilla part will be awkward and streaky at first, but it will all work out in the end.)
• Use your hands to gently grab a wad of dough and form it into a circular mound shape.
• Bake for 15-20 minutes, until macaroons are lightly browned but still soft inside. Remove to a wire rack for cooling. Unlike most cookies, these don’t taste that great when they’re hot- they are better at room temperature.

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My mom taught me this trick to transform a boring ol’ block of feta into a somewhat shmancy-seeming appetizer in like 10 seconds. All you do is take a block of good quality brined feta out of the brine. Put it on a plate or in a shallow bowl. Drizzle it with good olive oil and sprinkle it with chopped herbs (oregano or mint are my two favorites.) Sprinkle coarse salt on top (I used black salt from Hawaii but any salt will do) and a cracking of pepper. Serve it with a baguette, crackers, or pita chips. People will not realize how little work you put into this, because it looks good and tastes even better!

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It was near perfect… the sour cream filling comes out kind of like a cookie texture, studded with strawberries. Next time I will probably add vanilla extract to the filling, and a few more strawberries. It was a big hit with the guests.

A note: it would be a CRIME to serve this pie without ice cream.

Get the recipe from Worth the Whisk here

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